by Paul Wylie

Created on: February 16, 2008

Encountering The New American Cutomer Service From The Bat Cave

A recent escapade involving the customer service section of a major U.S. firm that I subscribe to can only be described as the most exasperating experience that I have had for a long time. Many of you will see yourselves in this piece, and in retrospect, it is kind of funny what I went through. I'm relaying the conversations that I had, and some of the other aspects of the experience to highlight what outsourcing U.S. jobs can do to our quality of life.

It all started when a service that I subscribe to went kaput. I didn't realize it at first, because I thought it was something that I did, or the equipment that I was using. After deducing the problem was not of my own making, I got on the phone to customer service to have them connect me to tech support. Here's what transpired.

Call # 1: The phone rang 5 times before an automated voice started giving me options to push buttons for. After choosing an option, the voice told me that I didn't have to call them at all, that I could solve all my problems by visiting their web site. Yeah. Yeah. I know, thought I, but it didn't help, that's why I'm on the phone, duh. After another round of voice automated options, I waited patiently for almost 30 minutes before a voice that was part English, part Indian, and so low that I could barely hear it said "Please to thank you for calling blank company today, where we give to you the very best customer inside service, my name is blank, what for can I help you with today sir, please?

Me: "I'm having a major problem with my blank service. It isn't working at all. I did a check and the problem isn't on my end, so I could use some help in getting the situation fixed."
Service: "Ok, very good sir, I am understanding you very completely and we are very sorry that trouble is causing you, may I have your telephone number please?"

Me: "555-555-5555"

Service: "And to do security, may I have the last four numbers on your credit card?"
Me: "5555"

Service: Very good sir, and thank you for that information, what problem is bothering you today?"

Me: "Uh, I just told you, I don't have any service, and I performed all the checks that I know that you're going to tell me to do."

Service: "Very good sir, and to thank you again, please wait while I bring up your account"
Me: "Uh, ok." Thinking to myself that why did he ask me for my account info if he hadn't brought up my account yet. I'm on hold for about 3 minutes.

Service: " Please to sir, I

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