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life.

If you're still in doubt about what needs to be changed, you just have an overwhelming feeling that something does need to change, ask friends and family when they think they see you happiest and when they think see you least happy. You may get some helpful pointers and even hear things that come as a complete surprise to you, it is common for people to find out about anger management issues in this "out of the blue" way.

Visualise.

Once you know what your goals are, visualise them. Visualisation is a really key part of attaining success. Quite simply you need to imagine yourself in the situation you want to be in or see yourself achieving your goal. For example if someone trying to stop smoking can clearly picture themselves living through the various events of the day without having cigarettes and feeling fine without them then they are more likely to be able to give up because they have made the ideal of not smoking into an achievable reality by thinking clearly about it.

The trick with visualisation is not to make your goal impossible, that crosses the line into fantasising. We all like to dream and fantasise, it's an important process in itself, however fantasies are defined as being unattainable and this makes them different to the process of visualising your goals.

Many people tend to let their fantasising and goal visualising run together, they may see themselves getting to their weight loss goal in their mind's eye but they might mesh that with seeing themselves twenty years younger, an impossibility.

Fantasies have the attached sentiment of "wouldn't it be nice if" and your goal visualisations have the attachment of "I will be happy if". If you are attaching the latter to a fantasy, something that can't ever happen, then you are setting yourself up for disaster.

Divide up your thoughts into definite sessions of visualisation or fantasising.

Set aside two blocks of time (minimum) for your visualisation every day. If you can think of goals more frequently during the day this will aid motivation. Keep what you can achieve and what would be nice firmly apart.

Your visualisations need to be defined and focused whereas your fantasising can be free and unplanned. It's fine to sit back in your chair and dream about scooping up unprecedented numbers of awards for the book you haven't written yet but that shouldn't get inter-laced with your more realistic goals.

Of course as you work on goals you may find that items from your fantasy list come within your reach

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