by Ann Palmieri

Created on: February 16, 2008   Last Updated: December 07, 2009

There should be no limit on the number of marriages one might have. Don't judge someone for wanting to find love and happiness. If one is meant to be married, he/she knows it. As I found out, just because you marry the love of your life, doesn't mean that he/she will live very long. I was barely married nine months when my husband died. I am married to my fourth husband; it took me until I was 60 years old to find the person God planned for me. Let's start at the beginning. There are good reasons to keep looking even after three marriages. Obviously, I loved something about the institution even though it didn't pan out the way "happily ever after" does.

In the first place, I became a widow at the age of twenty-two. Heartbroken from my loss and lost in depression, I could barely take care of my young daughter (she was 30 days old when he died). My mother's advice was to never remarry; she told me no other man would want to raise the daughter of another man. I heeded her advice for about a year; by then I was so very lonely that I craved the love of a man. I remarried when my daughter was two and a half.

"Well," you say. "Why didn't you stay with that husband?" I knew him about a year before I married him; I had no idea that he had a problem. He had also been married and had four children. That left me with no clue that in six months I would catch him with a man. I couldn't compete against that, so I moved on. Our marriage didn't even make it to our first anniversary.

In case you have lost count, I am now up to my third husband. "Why get married again?" you ask. Well, I remained a single parent until my daughter was in the third grade. At that time I was a member of Parents without Partners. I met Mr. Three at a dance. We dated for two years. I wanted to make sure he wasn't gay or terminally ill. I had already been a widow and a divorcee by the age of 30. Our marriage started off badly. He became demanding and critical, nothing like the man I had married.Then my daughter was struck with cancer and the stress of the situation caused my husband's true nature to rear its ugly head. He had some problems with identity. Come to find out, years later, after 12 years of marriage, that my husband was a multiple personality. "Good grief, girl!" you yell at me. "Didn't you see that coming?" No. Do you see your spouse getting cancer and dying? Do you see the madness in the eyes of a wonderful lover? Do you see the betrayal of cheating before it happens?

That marriage ended

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