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For the past four years I have dealt with stress, anxiety and panic attacks. I have numerous insights to why I feel like I do and on two occasions have accepted anti-depressants in the hope that they will help. Both times I was at my lowest ebb, believing that there were few other options and not feeling strong enough to try without. However, i also found that while medication may have helped me get back on my feet to begin healing myself, it never made the problem disappear. I was aware that the problem was still there, it was just numbed. This caused feelings of frustration and eventually i stopped taking them, without consulting my doctor. I wanted to be free to feel again.

The first set I tried were designed to lighten my mood. I am a naturally happy person at my best and the feeling was odd at times. They made me overly cheerful to a point where i felt maniacally happy and over excited. The second set i was prescribed were to calm my nerves. I noticed an improvement and they were better suited to my situation. Even so i still felt as if i wasn't progressing, it was not resolving my problem. I tend to view medication as evasive action that may sometimes be thrust upon us by medical professionals; this is not to say that it doesn't help, but i think it is better when teamed with another approach such as counseling or psychoanalysis.

I have recently developed a coping strategy to identify those feelings i get in the pit of my stomach which induce stress, panic and anxiety. I was sitting in the doctor's surgery waiting for my counseling session to begin. I felt jumpy and panicky and couldn't figure out why. I closed my eyes and let my mind go silent. I visualized cords of energy inside me, in the pit of my stomach. Two cords tangled together and twisted around what was bothering me. I continued to see this and pictured the cords unwinding to reveal just one strand. From there I was able to identify what was at the root of my anxiety. Knowing what is bothering you is the first step to dealing with it. Acknowledge, accept and release. When we are feeling stressed the need to make decisions quickly and to do something immediately is strong. If we just take a time out to listen to our body and try to figure out the main concern. This is hard and sometimes painful, especially when it is something we don't want to hear or are ashamed of. An important thing to remember is there is nothing wrong with feeling the way you do. My favorite saying, which has got me through

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