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Would you buy yourself a new outfit without trying it on first? Or a new car without taking it out for a test drive? No? so why would you commit yourself to one person for the rest of your life without knowing if you are sexually compatible? How do you truly know if he or she is the one person you are meant to be with if they end up being the only person you are ever truly with? Who's to say that you wont end up resenting them, lusting after others or wishing that you had lived your life a little more before you settled down?

Now that we are well into the millennium is it really that important for people to abstain before marriage? I'm not saying that we should all be at it like rabbits, just what could be so wrong with giving yourself totally to the one you intend to spend the rest of your life with?

I know that to some people this is a religion thing, to abstain, or remain sexually pure before marriage is what the lord intends for us, and i don't intend to get into any sorts of debates about religion, but everything we read in the bible can be misconstrued, I am not religious in the slightest, I believe in something, I'm just not quite sure what, and although I totally get that its wrong to murder, commit adultery and steal, I just cant see any major problems with trying before you buy, so to speak.

Some may argue that too much emphasis is put on sex in a relationship, that it is not more important than love and companionship, and i agree, its not, but I believe it is just as important. I'm the average thirty something. I am a happy, healthy individual. I am not now, or ever have been married, and I am not, and have not been for a long time, a virgin. I don't believe that any future relationship I may have will be ruined by the fact that my husband or lover will not be my first, and I would never expect for me to be there's. I do not believe that our relationship will be any less than those who have only given themselves to each other. I think that because myself, and my partner have had more experience that we will have a richer life for it. We will know what makes us tick, we will have more confidence, we will be able to learn from each other, and show each other what we like, this i believe will make us better lovers, and in the long term better communicators.

Don't get me wrong I do not agree with underage sex, I believe one hundred percent that before you are an adult you should never make the decision to give away your virginity, I don't think your prepared to make such a life changing decision. I also don't believe that anyone should have sex before they are totally ready. But I do think that if you are in a steady, long term relationship, and you feel that your ready, then go for it. As long as you are ready, safe and prepared then your not harming anyone.

I'm also not saying that you should sleep with everyone, trying on the whole shop before you buy your final outfit, you may give your self to the man you believe is your one true love, and he may be, and lucky you, your with your soul mate, but this may not be the case. You could spend five years with the man or woman you believe you are going to spend the rest of your life with, you could give yourself to them believing that they are the one, then it could all go wrong. Should you be punished for this? I don't think so.

I understand that my views may be offensive to some, and that others will agree with me whole heartedly, perhaps its an age thing, or religion, even culture, perhaps this should be a debate topic, but I ask one final question, can you really, truly know someone, if you haven't seen every side of them?

Learn more about this author, AJ Stephenson.
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