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I once worked with a waiter who introduced himself to the guests at his tables as their "culinary adventure coordinator"- a statement I always considered quite bold. To fulfill this tongue-in-cheek obligation with diners, he remained smooth and efficient under hurried duress while maintaining the composed air of a Zen master- and his clientele always compensated him accordingly. Over a beer after one particularly hairy shift, this James Bond in a french-cut apron and I discussed the commandments of tipping, and came to the realization that the general public, bless their hearts, just doesn't realize what they're doing when they get their check at the end of a meal. Someone should write this down we said

Thou shalt not NOT tip:

You'd be surprised at the number of Americans producing their entire income solely from serving. When you have a bad day at the office and aren't as productive as usual, you still get paid. In almost every conceivable instance, waiters deserve this consideration.

Thou shalt not kill the messenger:

Or in this case, the deliverer of your food. If there is a problem with your experience at a restaurant, communicate it discretely with management. Trust me, a manager can put the hurt on a member of his staff a lot more efficiently than you can by refusing to leave the industry standard, 15 to 20% gratuity. Plus, good management will root out the correct source of the problem to prevent reoccurrence on your next visit.

Honor thy bartender:

Always remember that a bartender is responsible for every step in the service of your drink. While you can usually get away with tipping a smaller percentage on a round of drinks than you would a meal, it is important to note the effort that goes into the particular drinks that you order. In other words, tip a little more for double chocolate mint mojitos than you would a bottled beer or you might find your next cocktail a little lacking.

Tip cash:

Not all servers get to take their tips home at the end of each shift. In many restaurants a server has to wait for a paycheck that comes every two weeks, and in a moody industry, that can make for some lean living at times. A good way to make your server adore you at places like this is to tip cash. Unlike charged tips, a server can indeed take this money at the end of a shift- which equals gas in their tank, food on the table and progressively better service every time you come back in.

Thou shall only tip YOUR server:

In attempts to be benevolent or showy, some people drop the busboy, host, bartender or even another waiter a little something extra. This throws a major kink into the way restaurant labor works, because a certain percentage of server-received gratuity is usually already taken from every waiter and given to other members of the staff. If you want to do something special for others on the staff, simply tip your server well because they probably had a big hand in other's efforts to please you.

Remember these tipping tips and eventually your meals out will become coordinated, culinary adventures.

Learn more about this author, Tea Jones.
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