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Our Adoption Journey

As the "better half" of an interracial couple, I only say this because my husband always refers to me as his better half and not because of the color of my skin, I have received more than my fair share of looks and questions over the last nine years. We never enter a room that we don't get noticed by someone and most of the time, the subject of race enters the conversation. It may be overt or subtle, it may even be completely in disguise, but it is usually there. One of the most vivid memories I have is of a comment made by my my uncle, a flag-flying Confederate, just prior to my wedding. He said "I guess we'll be having some of them gray babies running around here in a few years".

Well, it turns out that those "gray babies" weren't that easy to make for my husband and myself. We endured a miscarriage and then infertility before we decided to pursue adoption. We began the process in September of 2001 and when asked if we had a race preference, we said "gray". No seriously though, we had no preference of race, we just wanted a healthy baby to love and we prayed for a smooth adoption process with no heartache or complications. In May of 2002 our beautiful baby girl was born and placed in our arms at just one hour old. She was the most beautiful child ever and it was love at first sight. Her birth mother is Caucasian and her birth father is African-American, or if you prefer uncomplicated labels as my husband does he is black. She is an absolutely beautiful young lady and has no concept of race other than the occasional question about if she she eats more carrots like she did when she was a baby, will her skin turn orange again. She did have a young girl in preschool last year make the statement that she did not "play with Brown girls" to which my daughter said, "I'm NOT brown, I am Kaitlyn!"

After two and a half years of parenthood, we decided to dive back into the process of a second adoption. We completed the home study and application process in four months and again, since we had no preference with regard to race, we were chosen to adopt our sweet boy just a month later. His birth mother was African-American and his birth father was African-American and Puerto-Rican. He bears and amazing resemblance to my husband. It is almost freaky the way they look like each other. He is now almost three years old and is the sweetest little boy I have ever met. He is definitely his mother's boy. There is a connection between us that can not be described. We are as inseparable as any biological mother and son ever hoped to be. We do get some strange looks when we go out and many people find the need to ask silly questions. "Is he yours?", "Does he look like his daddy", and my personal favorite..."Is he your grandchild?" Thanks! Like his brown skin makes ME look old enough to be a grandmother!

Neither of my children have the same color skin as I do but they both have my heart and we are a family. My husband and I hope to teach our children that if anyone has a problem with the color of their skin, it is THEIR problem. We are all the same color to God and we are all the same under our skin. It is our heart and character that determines the person we are and will become and if that is not right, then no skin color can make it right. We also hope to teach them not to focus on their racial heritage to identify themselves but learn from it and grow into the person they are meant to be.

Learn more about this author, Lynn Sinclair.
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