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This is not your grandmother's bedroom. Times have changed. The average married couple today is able to expand their romantic arsenal to include what was once considered taboo. Sensual oils, erotic costumes, naughty toys and even more risque fantasies can be enjoyed if a couple is focused on each other's satisfaction and pleasure with mutual respect and love.

The first step towards improving your marital sex life is having a sincere heart-to-heart talk with your spouse. It is very important to start the conversation lovingly, explaining that while you enjoy sex with your spouse very much, you would like to explore different possibilities in order to increase excitement and pleasure. Tell your partner how much you love them and how much you want to please them. Be sure to let them know how much it pleases you when they are excited and satisfied.

Begin to talk openly about what you consider to be erotic. Be careful to keep your partner's feelings in mind. For example, a husband may find the thought of including another woman during sex, but it is very rare their wives will gladly allow this. Perhaps a wife would like to role play sex with a well-known actor, most men will be uncomfortable with the idea of their wife imagining someone else. Use common sense and discuss erotic ideas you feel confident will not disturb your partner.

Safe venues to explore with your spouse include:

* Massage oils and lubricants - These have recently made the move from the adult stores to retail centers. Attractively packaged and more widely accepted, many women once shy about purchasing such items can feel comfortable tossing a bottle of K-Y "Warming Touch" massage oil and "personal lubricant," in the shopping cart along with the dozen eggs and loaf of bread.

* Vibrators, massage tools and other erotic toys - Once considered "dirty" and only used by raging nymphomaniacs, adult sex toys are finding their way into suburban homes and more conservative bedrooms. These pleasure-enhancing tools are now coyly labeled and packaged, making purchasing these items a more comfortable and relaxed experience. Utilizing these in the bedroom can add a whole new level of playfulness to foreplay.

* Costumes and role play - without naming specific individuals you would like to fantasize about (unless you have the green light from your spouse), role playing erotic situations can be very fun. With scenarios such as: The chambermaid and the gentleman, Strangers in a night club, The secretary and the boss,

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