by Helen Tay

Created on: February 14, 2008

Should teens be given a curfew by parents?

As parents, we need to set certain rules and boundaries for our kids. These rules are best set in a relaxed manner when family members get a chance to talk on issues.

Teens need to know that they need to be back by a certain time when they are out. Parents being parents will keep an eye on the time and calls will be made to find out where the kids are if they are not back by the stated time.

Basically, curfew is an agreed time that kids need to have to be back home so that they can still have a good time with their friends and come time to set for home, they know that it is onus on them to set back home albeit some others may still be gathering around. Sometimes the kids may be late back for certain reasons due to transportation home. As parents, we can take their input that they are late due to transportation reasons and to remind them that if that is the case, the kid must know that they need to allow for this time delay.

The main reason for having a curfew is mainly for safety reasons. As parents we let our teens have some independence and also they are at a stage they need to make decisions. Our role is to guide them and to explain why we want them to be back by a certain time. Teens will continue to test our limits and as parents we must continue to set the boundaries.

Curfew will only be accepted by the teens if there is a communication between the teens and their parents. Curfew does not work when there is a breakdown in communication amongst rebellious kids and often this is due to neglect of parents.

Teens have reach the stage whereby they want to exercise their rights of being a youth and at times due to peer pressure, teens go against what they have been taught when they succumb to being in a group and not wanting to be ostracized from the group for being obedient to their parents.

As parents, tendency to fly off the handle once the teen has broken the curfew time and that will only add fuel to the fire which is now raging due to the time taken to contact the child as well as emotions that may have gone wary due to first wondering whether the child is safe or agony of wondering what could have gone wrong as to why the teen is not safely back home in his bed at that time.

Mutual understanding by the teen and parents is the way to go and parents should let their teen know when they are expected back and the consequences the teen has to face if their teen fails to do so.

As parents it is our duty to bring our teen up well and as a teen, understand that curfew is only a time agreed by both parent and themselves so that the teen can still have a good time without their parents losing sleep over them not being back from their outing.

Curfew is a simple way to set rules for teens. If the teen does not like the word curfew as curfew does have a stigma associated with it. Simply just state that it is an agreement between parents and teen to be back at a certain time. Call it check-in time.

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