by Bobbi Leder

Created on: February 14, 2008

In the old days, men used to open car doors, pay the restaurant bill, and pick a woman up at the front door of her house, but today, men don't know what they're supposed to do with women having more power than ever. Somewhere along the line - most likely in the 80s when women's rights were taken out of the marching world and into reality - men got lost in the shuffle; they were unexpectedly reprimanded for not giving women respect for doing the very same thing that were respectful just twenty years ago. No wonder men are so confused nowadays. "Should I or shouldn't I hold the door open? If I do, then she might tell me she's more than capable of pushing the door open herself; and if I don't, will I come across as being rude?" Men just can't win.

The other day when I was at the gym I was lifting a 45 lb plate and a man asked me if I needed help - my initial reaction was that of 'girl power' and I said "no, I'm not that weak," but then I realized later that he was just being nice, gentlemanly. Why did I over-react like that? Perhaps it's because my generation was taught that they need to stick up for themselves and that women can do everything men can. Women today are supposed to work in the office just as hard as men then come home, make dinner, take care of the kids, and somehow find time to exercise and look glamorous - how is that possible? With all of the pressure to do 'everything', women get a little frustrated - and rather than admitting they can't do it all and need help, they go the opposite way by asserting their power, strength, and ability to take on as much as men used to and then some.

I'm sure Gloria Steinem wasn't trying to make women feel inadequate for not being able to work full time outside of the house and balance a home life; she just wanted to ensure women were treated equally at a time when women were getting paid less for doing the same job, and were being discounted for jobs they could do - but men didn't want them to, because it would interfere with the 'boys club'.

So where did it all go wrong? My guess is the 90's - but who knows for sure exactly when it happened? Out of the blue, men weren't only competing with other men in the workplace - women were being given priority when it came to promotions because companies didn't want to be accused of discrimination, and women today are more than capable of earning enough money to take care of themselves. Were women gaining unfair advantages in the workplace because of women's rights, or just

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