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As a gay man, the struggle to acheive acceptance in a society currently polluted by bigots hiding behind the shield of "religion" is something I live with every day. Every day, someone judges me based on my sexual orientation. Every day, I live with the fear that one homophobic lunatic will attack and/or kill me because of who I am. In order to make inroads into acceptance on a larger scale, the gay community must unite, and must have the assitance of other minority groups to recognize that our struggles are universal and connected.

The first, and most vital, step to acceptance for gays and lesbians is to come out. Staying in the closet means that more people can live in the fantasy that they don't know any gay people. It's harder to have hateful feelings towards a group of people if you have to hate someone that you know and like. While the coming out process can be difficult, even dangerous, the sense of relief that comes from being able to live an authentic life is well worth the pain. Even those relatives or friends who reject you at first will come around, and if they don't, no one needs that kind of poisonous influence in their life.

The second step is for us to get involved in our communities. Join the PTA if you have kids. Join the neighborhood watch, or attend a city council meeting. The gay community has a unique perspective on a variety of issues, and our voices need to be heard. Also, again, the more people get used to seeing us in situations that they relate to, it's harder and harder for them to believe the nonsense coming out of Washington and the pulpit. Choose not to give your money to companies that don't support your families. Websites like Buyblue.org or Bluefund.com show which companies have the best records in regards to gay issues (and other progressive issues). Of course, we also must vote for candidates in elections that support our families and rights.

Lastly, we have to reach out to other minority communities that have historically avoided aligning with gay activists. Each of us has a vested stake in a free and fair America, where everyone has a level playing field. It's reasonable to suspect that the people who attack the GLBT community, are also probably racists and sexists. The male, white, judeo-christian, corporate power structure is terrified of true diversity, and we have to stand together, to show that when you count us all, we are the majority.

I think things are changing. I see a level of gay acceptance in the younger generation that I never would have expected, but the battle is still ongoing, and we have to decide whether we are going to hide in our closets, or stay and fight.

Learn more about this author, B.D. Bolin.
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