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When It's Time To Say Goodbye........

About 14 years ago, we got a Cocker Spaniel pup, we named "Gabby", short for Gabriella. She was everyone's dog, but really, our then four year old grandson Alex and my husband Gary were her people. From the start she followed Gary wherever he went. When Alex came to visit, Gabby would go from our bed to his. She really had two homes as well. We'd often get a phone call from Alex asking if Gabby could spend the night. We'd pack her "bag", and Gabby would happily follow Alex to the car ready for an adventure.

Time has a way of passing and as we watched our Alex go from a little boy to a man sized teenager, Gabby was aging too. Her once jet black snout was now gray. More and more she stayed in with me rather than following Gary around. More health issues arose too, unending ear infections, and then a stroke.

She grew weak, the antibiotics weren't working and she wasn't eating. We took her to see the vet. He suggested surgery, cutting her ears open to clean out the infection. He cautioned that there were no guarantees. He reminded us that Gabby was 14 and the life span of a Cocker is 13-15 years. He didn't say "consider putting her down" but the message was there.

I never dreamed that it would be up to us to choose the day, the moment, that this incredible animal would cease to be. This was a profound, heart wrenching, turmoil filled burden, that was beyond our heart's ability to grasp it.

That night, I laid beside her, petting her, talking to her, my tears streaming down my cheeks and landing on her as I kissed her. I told her how I loved her, how we would miss her. Gary nor Alex could say goodbye. To them it would make this impossible process even more unbearable.

The next day we took her into the vets to be put down. We kissed her for the last time and walked out then cried in one another's arms outside. Our hearts were broken.

We called Alex. He was okay and said it was the right thing for Gabby. A day or so later he came to visit and while foraging for something to eat, came across some food of Gabby's in the pantry. It was then that our big, man sized boy started to cry. It was real then, his long time pal was gone for good. We cried, we shared memories of Gabby and cried some more.

We have Gabby's ashes and will plant a tree, scattering her ashes at the base of it. Gabby would like that.

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