by Bobby Coles

Created on: February 13, 2008   Last Updated: January 17, 2011

"No man is an island, entire of itself .." (John Donne). This quote details the need for all humans to have contact. We cannot float helplessly adrift a sea of loneliness, unsheltered from the elements. We need to surround ourselves with support. Neglecting a marriage devalues the vows themselves.

A job should certainly never come between a man and a wife. The sacred union of marriage requires constant attention and nurturing, and neglect can cause untold grief and suffering.

Marriage is a sacred institution that should never be interfered with by external forces, such as employment. A job, while obviously a necessity, should never interfere with your marriage. There are many jobs out there, but there are fewer soul mates. The best part about having a job is leaving it to return home to your family, since absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Neglect is a serious form of abuse that goes unreported, and its effects can linger far too long, and can manifest into separation or divorce. When you have a job, or if both spouses work, neglect of home life becomes apparent. This should never be the case.

Once you arrive at work, then your home life problems should be left at home, and, conversely, when you get home at the end of the day, work should not rear its ugly, malformed head.

When trying to avoid neglecting your spouse, some things to keep in mind are; keep work and home separate, set aside time for spousal connection, rekindle any lost magic and chemistry, and prioritize your life. Drawing a distinct line in the sand between work and home will diffuse any tense, neglectful occurrences from happening.

Realizing that if you did not go to work the next day, somebody else would do your job for you can help you to prioritize what is really important to you. If you did not return home the next day, however, you would be terribly missed and nobody could fill that abysmal void. Or you better hope that nobody steps in and fills that void.

Setting aside time for you and your spouse will fend off neglect quite nicely. As spontaneously as possible, or with the aid of scheduling dates, whichever works best for your particular situation, make sure to spend time together each and every day. Having meals together, or just taking a brief amount of time to talk can go a long way to nurturing your love. Incorporating some exercise together can also add a healthy component. A long walk together is conducive to discussions and conversational flirting.

If you feel as though you have already started to neglect your spouse, then you need to rekindle your chemistry and magic. Take your spouse out to all of your old, familiar haunts and do the same things that you used to do. Go to a restaurant and order the same meal that you did years ago on your first date.

Play some of the same music that used to loosen your shoulders and hips. Wax nostalgic as often as possible, but also mature and journey forth into new endeavors.

Finally, make sure to prioritize your life. Figuring out what is important, and what is not important is often easier said than done. Make sure to complete all tasks, not neglecting any of them. Put off until tomorrow anything that can wait that is work related, and spend time reconnecting with family.

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