Why did my parents beat me?

Many years went on with me asking myself that question.
What was the reasoning for me to be beaten.molested, called names,etc..Etc..
What did I ever do to deserve to be treated like that.I was only a child for god sakes.

Will a child who is hurt in such a manner ever grow up to know the answers?
And if we ever do find out the answers.will the answers be justifiable?
Will it change what has already happened?

Nobody, whether it be a child or a grown person deserves to be beaten or abused in anyway.

But what has already been done unfortunately we cannot change.

I spent many wasted years dwelling on all the things that had happened to me as a child.Never feeling as though I had a fair shot in life because of my childhood memories and the low self esteem and insecurities that grew up with me.

As time went on and I became an adult, with so many questions still answered.
I one day realized, my questions would never be answered and in the process of me trying to find out why? I was ruining my own life by not letting go.

It was not easy. I actually had to repair myself, as I put it. And nobody could do this but me.
Because only I knew how I felt and how I hurt for so many years.The first thing and the hardest thing I had to do, was to forgive.How do you forgive someone for hurting you in so many ways?

I had no choice I had to.No I never forgot but I did forgive them because I knew if I did not I could not go on with my life. And I was not about to let them or myself ruin my adulthood as they already ruined my childhood.After forgiving them. I had to learn to love myself for who I was.That was a s well hard.

And who am I wandered? hmm.I Am a women who was raised in an abusive home, with an abusive mother and an abusive stepfather. I am now still a women who suffers no more from being in an abusive home. I am strong women,and now happy women and mother with her own children who do know what love is through me not knowing what love was.

And I know my children will never have to ask the question ,why did my parents beat me?
Nor will they ever have to wander if they are loved.

Learn more about this author, Tammy Dukes.
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