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After Grandma died, the family changed. Her passing altered the dynamics of extended family gatherings. She no longer bustled around her big country kitchen; or roused the family to sing a pre-dinner prayer, belting out "Be present at our table, Lord," in her best Sunday School teacher's voice.

~ ANTICIPATING THE MEAL

As reigning family matriarch, Grandma held seniority at family food events. Adult children and grandchildren chitchatted leisurely, renewing interest in one another's lives, while she busily organized the ample meal blanketing every inch of counter space in the kitchen.

The noise of happy voices rose and swelled as family members arrived and were greeted, removing their coats and adding their potluck dishes to the accumulated food. Tantalizing odors increased anticipation of the meal to come. Children daringly snuck a carrot stick or an olive from the hors d'oeurvre trays, although snacking before dinner was forbidden.

~ FAMILY TRADITIONS MATTER

Our family had customary ways of doing things. While everybody brought a potluck dish or dessert, Grandma boiled the potatoes, sliced the homemade bread, and baked the focal meat: roast pork, ham, turkey, or duck. She also assigned small "jobs" to a few lucky grandchildren, such as distributing butter knives, salt, or pickles to each white-clad table.

In these routines, our family resembled many others. Women such as my Grandma perpetuate and transmit culture through the act of organizing special food events for a large family. Children served as apprentice cooks, learning the domestic skills that nurture a family.

Although eating is a biological necessity, food is also a means of reinforcing family ties. Sharing food becomes a social occasion. When Grandma was alive, extended family meals were special because of the happiness with which they were enjoyed. As Marion Cunningham wrote in the first sentence of her _Fannie Farmer Cookbook_, "Every meal should be a small celebration."

~ NURTURING THROUGH FOOD

Like many women who cook for their families, Grandma nurtured through food, adding emotional significance to mealtime. A woman's traditional role as food preparer is closely linked to her mothering role. Because good food is connected to good health, by serving a nutritious and delicious meal, Grandma made a positive impact upon the health and emotional well-being of her family.

Grandma was a hard-working farm woman nearing the end of her life, who had succeeded in producing enough children and grandchildren to

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