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NOT ME!

I have a pal, who's just pretend.
He's my imaginary friend.
Whenever I get in a fix,
I blame it on his bag of tricks.

His name's "NOT-ME," and he is fun.
He plays his pranks on everyone.
And when my goose is nearly done,
NOT-ME is up and on the run.

Who left the dog out in the rain?
Who put the gerbil in the drain?
Who scribbled on the windowpane?
It was my friend, NOT-ME!

Who failed to empty out the sink?
Who stained the carpet with blue ink?
Who dyed Dad's sneaker socks bright pink?
It was my friend, NOT-ME!

Who left the phone off of its hook?
Who tipped the dryer, till it shook?
Who tore the pages from the book?
It was my friend, NOT-ME!

Who told our secrets to the town?
Who rumpled up Mom's favorite gown?
Who tracked the floor in steps of brown?
It was my friend, NOT-ME!

You see, my friend's a handy chap;
He saves me from the swat or slap.
If I just use my thinking cap,
NOT-ME can help me beat the rap!

Learn more about this author, Linda Ann Nickerson.
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