I had to sneak away from my father to write this article. He caught me at a weak moment and somehow I got roped into helping him do a spring cleaning of the kitchen. This was not on my agenda today, but being agreeable makes life much easier when you live with your parents.
Deciding to move back in with parents is a difficult decision. Let's face it, there's a stigma to living with your parents past a certain age. The general public looks at you like you're a kid who just won't grow up. And no matter whether you split the bills and household duties, most everyone's response when they find out you live with your parents is the same. "Must be nice."
Living with your parents has definite advantages and disadvantages. One of the advantages is not coming home to an empty place. Single life can get lonely, but having parents there everyday reminds you that someone does love you. Living with parents means spending less. Even if you split all the bills 50/50, you will still get by cheaper than you would in your own home. Living with parents means you don't have to do all the chores. Living with parents means there's someone there to care for you when you get sick. Living with parents means you don't have to argue over where to have Christmas dinner.
There are many challenges to living with parents as well. Privacy is probably the most important one. There is no bringing a date home when you live with your parents. There is no coming home drunk when you live with parents. There is no calling in sick when you're really not when you live with your parents. Parents are our guilt-o-meters, and they wield their power mightily, no matter how old we are.
Establishing your role as an adult is important when you live at home. The only way to do this is to act like an adult. Before making the move back home, consider sitting down with your parents and establishing the rules. Find out everyone's expectations, and assign responsibilities. Define living spaces. Ensure that you have an area you can go to when you want to be alone.
Determine how much rent you will pay. Even if your parents' house is paid for, you should not expect to live there gratis. Your being there will make electricity, water and grocery bills rise, so be prepared to contribute.
Assign household chores. If you can cook, volunteer to do so at least half of the time. If not, then assign yourself dishes duty. Take responsibility for keeping your own room, bathroom, etc. clean. Do your own laundry. Be responsible along with your parents for cleaning communal living areas like the living room. If you see something that needs to be done, don't wait on your parents to do it. Living there means that it is your home too, and partly your responsibility.
Never expect though that you are entering into a steel-tight contract. Parents are good at coming up with projects at the most inopportune time, and guilting us into helping. They also have a very different idea of what is a valuable use of our time. Refusing to take out the trash because you're almost to the encore on Guitar Hero won't earn you brownie points. Take a deep breath, smile, and pause your game. Taking out the trash when your parents ask you will ensure that you can get back to your game faster, without having to endure a sermon about how you need to grow up.
Learn more about this author, Nichole Nash.
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