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You may think first dates are exciting adventures and you may think dating is hell. There's no doubt that dating has its drawbacks, but it is often the first step in finding a compatible person to share your life. Consider the follow common dating issues and ways to resolve them.

Dishonesty

Sometimes dishonesty in a relationship is intentional, like lying to get someone into bed. Other times it seems harmless, such as pretending to love sports or ballet to make a good impression.

Lying about your feelings to coerce sex is taking advantage of another person. Sex is not a contest and tricking someone can cause deep emotional harm. Help protect yourself from people who may lie by not rushing into sex. Trust your instincts and don't make excuses for someone who seems to be dishonest, no matter how much you like him or her.

While lying about small things may seem harmless, it's never good to start a relationship on deceit. The idea behind dating is to find someone who is compatible and you can't do that when you are pretending. Be honest yourself and make it easier for your date to be honest by not pressuring him or her to enjoy everything you do.

Unrealistic Expectations

Movie and TV romances sometimes set an unrealistic example for relationships. Real life can be wonderful, but it can also be messy and stressful. Expecting a fairy tale can lead you walk away from a promising relationship at the first sign of trouble.

People are not perfect and relationships have their ups and downs. Take some time to assess what traits are important to you and what expectations you have for a relationship. Limit yourself to the "must haves". When problems come up, knowing what is most important to you may make it easier to let other things go.

Playing Games

They wait three days before returning a call, they show up late to get the upper hand, and they never say what they mean. Both men and women can be game players. Maybe it comes from a lack of experience or maybe they're getting bad advice. Playing games can make a person feel in control, but dating shouldn't be about winning or losing.

If you're a game player, think about what you want in a relationship. If you're only after a one-night stand, there are other people with the same goal. If you want a more lasting relationship, playing games won't get you there.

Sometimes game playing comes from inexperience. If you really like someone, try talking to him or her about stopping the games, but be prepared to walk away if your heart to heart doesn't get results.

Forgetting the Fun

Have you ever been on a first date that feels like a job interview? Do you ever find yourself grilling potential dates? Bad dating experiences can lead people to get too serious about screening dates. They forget that dating is supposed to be fun and drive away their dates by performing an obvious risk-benefit analysis over dinner.

While you may feel impatient to meet Mr. or Ms. Right, forgetting to have fun will greatly lower your chances of making a match. If you find yourself being grilled, counter with a question that invites conversation. Something a little off the wall, like, "What are your top three breakfast cereals?", may turn the mood in a more chatty direction.

Being aware of common dating problems may help you to have more success, or at least enjoy yourself and stay safer on your future dates.

Learn more about this author, Susan Quilty.
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