by Snow Vandemore

Created on: February 12, 2008

The teenage years are extremely difficult on so many levels - getting to the other side without damaging (1) your chances of being accepted into a good college, (2) an otherwise clean police record and (3) your virginity - is something to be admired.

Christian teens may have it somewhat easier than the rest of their peers - they have something bigger than themselves they believe in and care about. Following a charted path, a set of rules, comes more naturally to the Christian teen, because it is a part of their everyday life, including dating. If they choose to let their faith be their guide, then following some common dating rules should not be difficult.

Know Who Your Child Is Dating

Parents need to meet the date beforehand to get acquainted. This will discourage your child dating someone that is obviously too old for them, or who you feel may not be a good influence. Ask to speak with the other parents before the date takes place, even if it is just by telephone. You will be surprised how much you can learn just from few minutes of conversation.

Obtain All Details of the Date

If the individual passes initial muster, then discuss where the date is taking place, who will be present, what activities the date will involve, who will be driving and whether any adults will be in attendance. Make note of any cell phone numbers where your child, their date, or their parents, can be reached in case of an emergency.

Curfew

Communicate the exact time your child is expected to be home and make it clear that is when he or she should be walking through the door. Let your child know if they need to come home early for any reason, to contact you so that you can arrange to pick them up, if necessary.

No Drugs or Alcohol

You may not think this bears repeating, but do it anyway. This goes not only for your child, but for anyone who will be on the date or outing with them. It's not just for their safety - it's the law.

Take Some Time to Talk Afterward

After your child returns home from their date, take a few minutes to go over the events and determine if they enjoyed themselves. There's no better time to talk about any problems or concerns they have and for you to offer any help or advice, if appropriate.

These rules can be updated as the teen grows older and is able to accept additional responsibility. There is no definite time- line for this to occur - and it may be difficult for you as a parent to let go. This is true at any stage in the parent/child relationship.

The most important thing you can do as a parent is listen to your teen. They may feel alienated or different because they have chosen a different path than most of their peers. Talk them through this difficult time in their lives and assure them that their beliefs are just as valid and important as anyone else's. Giving them the confidence to continue their journey through life with faith, in whatever they believe in, will see them through many difficult times.

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