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I had the happiest baby I have ever heard tell of. Did I let him cry himself to sleep? Never. Did he become more needy, and more demanding as a result? Not a bit.

Should parents allow their babies to cry themselves to sleep? Let me clarify I am talking about babies. Children under the age of one. My answer to the question is a resounding, NO. Children of this age do not cry because they are trying to manipulate their parents. They cry because they either need something, or they are distressed about something. They can't do things for themselves. Parents are their protectors, it is their JOB to chase away the fears of their babies.

I will never believe acting in a way to make a baby feel secure in it's surroundings will cause it to cry MORE. In fact, I firmly believe it will make them cry LESS. Another important factor is BABIES NEED SLEEP. Babies like to sleep. If a baby is not sleeping, and is instead crying, they are wet, hungry, in pain or scared. Solve this dilemma for them, and they will reward you by going to sleep.

In my calculation if a parent is going against their base instinct to protect their child, and make it happy - it is either because they have been convinced to do so by a relative, or would-be expert, or because they are looking for an excuse to get more sleep themselves. My response to this course of action is - CHANGE IT. Follow your instincts. Protect and love your child.

I will admit, children ultimately need to learn rules and schedules. However, I firmly believe these lessons are for later. Think about the question scientifically. A baby doesn't learn object permanency until after its sixth month. This means, when you show it something and take it away - it thinks it is GONE forever. By extension, when your child wakes up, and you are not there - it thinks you are GONE forever. A terrifying thought for a tiny little person.

For the first year of life, your child needs to learn it is loved and secure. This gives your child the self esteem and courage it needs to graduate to the next level of life's lessons. If you want an insecure, unhappy and distrustful baby - go to bed, and let it wail. However, I'd personally classify such an action as child abuse. Teach your child it can rely on you when it needs you, and it won't NEED to play tricks on you later to earn your attention later in life.

Learn more about this author, Susan Huizinga.
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