by Melissa D. Ing

Created on: February 12, 2008   Last Updated: February 23, 2010

Negativity is not just horrible, it is draining! Communicating with negative people can have a severe effect on not just your personal happiness, but on your ability to function in every day life. While many so-called self help experts advocate removing yourself from any negative person's company, we know we can't always do that. Negativity in our business affairs, in our work places and personal relationships can surround us, but learning exactly how negativity begins, and how to recognize it, means we can combat it and flourish!

How negativity develops

We've all had one; the moody co-worker or boss who is charming one minute and screaming at us like banshee's the next. Whether we truly did something wrong that we need to learn from is often irrelevant; a seed has been planted and now we cannot seem to do anything fast enough, or good enough. Seeds of doubt about our own abilities are planted and we begin to internalize negative message's about ourselves, our work and our attributes, this is the beginning of the imprinting of the negativity process.

The physiological effects of negativity

When we constantly encounter someone who doesn't believe we can do a good job, get a project completed on time, or even run an errand successfully, we usually find ourselves internalizing the dialogue. The physiological or physical effects of internalizing how someone see's us through their screwed up lenses can leave us feeling defensive, irritated, and later just plain angry. When we carry this kind of stress around us, our hearts begin to beat faster, our palms get sweaty and we even may become dizzy when the negative person approaches us with even a simple request.

Left unchecked, the physiological effects of communicating with a negative person can lead to extreme stress, heart attacks, strokes, or in some instances an emotional breakdown. Learning to breathe gently, and learning that we are not responsible for the other person's negativity is essential if we find we have to survive their company.Just as essential is knowing that it is often pointless to argue with a negative person; but what can bring your heart rate down to normal speed is to say something benign like, 'You may be right that it will be difficult to finish this project by 5pm, but unlike you I don't believe it is impossible. I'll come back to you when its completed'. And then get on with it! Trust me if they can't have an effect on you, they will walk away.

The emotional effects of negativity

Having

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