Just the other day my daughter and I went clothes shopping for her birthday. I caught myself slipping into my old behavior of checking my image in the full-length mirrors. I looked fat. For many years I battled Distorted Body Image and it nearly killed me. What I see in mirrors still today isn't what others see. Family and friends constantly remark that I am so small but that description would not be how I would describe me.

I've had to accept I will never be a size 0-5. My size is 8-10, depending on the cut of the clothes. Usually my mode of clothing is jeans and a big top to disguise my imagined body flaws. Notice I said, "imagined" as according to others they don't exist.

The distorted body image started as a child. As weight issues run in my biological family, I have had the ingrained message that I was destined to be heavy thus I have been very weight conscience my entire life. Old habits are hard to break such as the mirror incident and the using a scale a couple times a day to ensure I wasn't fulfilling that destiny.

About 15 years ago my battle with distorted body image came to a life changing experience. I worked in a restaurant and being around the food all day would make me sick. My weight was 108 pounds but I couldn't force myself to eat. I was a walking skeleton as my bones showed and my veins were prominent. Fatigue had taken over. To sum it up I was a mess. This scared me so much I broke down crying that, "I didn't want to die."

This was the turning point. I'd seen shows on anorexia/bulimia/binge eating disorders, but these didn't really apply, as I never intentionally made myself sick. I simply didn't eat. The answer came when my husband talked to a coworker at the County Health Department. I had never heard of Distorted Body Image Disorder but apparently that is what I have. The only cure is behavior change and self-acceptance. I knew I had a lot of work ahead of me.

The only way to describe this disorder is when you go to a carnival and they have fun house mirrors. The mirror that makes you look large is how I see myself. This is how I see myself in all mirrors.

My first step was to get rid of the scale. This instrument became an albatross thus with it within easy reach I knew there would be no improvement. I now only weigh myself occasionally when visiting the doctor's office. The numbers are no longer controlling my life and behavior.

The next step was taking an honest look at myself. After starting to eat healthier,

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