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Humor: Everything about nothing

by Manson

Much of Nothing
...nothing really, but thanks for nothing

Off the inspirational loop and with a whole lot of nothing from thy blogmiester of nowhere, that nobody knows: Micheal aka Babyboy.

The other night I was sitting all alone in the dark, thinking about nothing and possible ways to improve it.

Nothing is really quite hard to improve upon and I came up with much of nothing. They say: "Nothing lasts forever", and they're right. I'll tell you why too, because it's nowhere to be found. As a matter of fact, nothing is a close cousin to nowhere. That's why it's always safe (if you're going nowhere) to take nothing with you. Because nowhere is entirely based based on a whole lot of nothing.

Even though we always take nothing with us when we're going nowhere, we always seem to think we left something there: "I can't find my car keys nowhere." - " I just know they're nowhere and nothing, nobody can say is going to change that!"

It's very difficult to be nowhere and do nothing, because we're always somewhere doing something. As a matter of fact, the only time we even claim we're doing nothing, is when we're caught doing something. Then it would seem, we're always doing nothing, with nothing, (in those hands behind our back) on our way to nowhere, to see nobody. (especially nobody named Joey)

"What you doing honey?" - " Ah... nothing" - "Where ya going?" - " Nowhere really" - "Whats in the bag?" - " Ummm... nothing dear"

But she knows that's your bowling ball and you're going to the "lanes" to drink beer with Joey. Of course Joey never showed up, but then again nobody did, and that was pure luck because she hates Joey.

"So who was at the lanes last night dear?" - " Ummm...nobody" - "Really?" - "Yep, nobody showed up, so I sat there, in the middle of nowhere, doing nothing by myself."

See, nobody is the black sheep of the family. He always shows up at the wrong place and the wrong time. The first one to get there and the last one to leave. He always shows up when you're expecting somebody, and never shows up when you wish nobody would.

"How did your very important meeting go last night?" - "Lousy, nobody showed up!"

"Hey did you hide the house key under the doormat?" - " Yeah, I hope nobody finds it."

"Are you expecting some company?" - " Well, I'm kinda hoping nobody stops by today."

I'm suspect of this nobody, seems the only time nobody's around is when you're by yourself. No wonder nobody believes you when you say nobody was there. Of course, you really can't be by yourself, can you. No you can't, and you can't be with yourself either. Nope, because you're only one worthless smuck, occupying one lousy spot, going nowhere. You can't be: with yourself, by yourself or beside yourself, for that matter.

But remember what they say: "If you keep doing nothing with your life, you're going be a big fat nobody, going nowhere." And when you get there: "Nobody's going to care that you have nothing to do and nothing to do it with." So, get a hold of yourself and get out there and do something, because nobody's gonna do it for you.

Nobody wants nothing to do with helping you go nowhere. You may be sitting there (beside yourself) thinking; why try when nothing's working. Well here's a little something to think about:

'Nothing from nothing leaves nothing and I'm not stuffin', believe you me.- Nobody, no nobody, can do the shimmy like you do, no nobody.' And nowhere, can I find (at least not in semi-nostalgic rock lyrics) where it says you have to settle for nothing.

So come on, there's nothing to fear and besides you have a whole lot of nothing to lose and you've probably got plenty on that anyways.

Learn more about this author, Manson.
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