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The most irritable people in the world are often found in the local library. There is nothing more fun than ticking off a nerd! Here are some things that will really get a bookworm steaming with rage.

1. Pick up all possible books about skin diseases/rashes/infections and start scratching uncontrollably. Inch closer and closer to the people around you, occasionally brushing up against them.

2. Follow someone from an opposing aisle and when they pull out a book peek through the hole and yell "BOO!" Repeat this step on every aisle and ask others to join you.

3. Leave disturbing messages on all the electronic card catalogs. (i.e.: Title Search: How to poison my neighbors) Stand nearby as people read these, when they look up point out the most uptight person in the library and whisper "They did it!"

4. Sit next to someone and read their book out loud. Make comments as you read and take notes. (get uncomfortably close)

5. Use the electric pencil sharpener at least 10 times. Grind each pencil to a pulp, leaving only the eraser. Yell "Dang it!" as if the sharpener is eating all of your pencils against your will. The key here is to make as much racket as you can.

6. Rearrange a case of books so the spines are aiming inwards. Stand by and laugh as people browse this aisle.

7. "Accidentally" knock a book off the table. As it smacks the ground take a dive into the floor and yell "Incoming! GET DOWN! GET DOWN!" Return to your seat nonchalantly as if it never happened.

8. Hide a pocket-sized radio in the bottom of somebody's backpack. Turn it to a preacher on an AM station and turn it up as loud as possible. From across the room periodically shout an "AMEN!" as people frantically search for the source of the noise.

9. Convince the librarian you have a micro-chip in-planted in your forehead that contains your library ID. Insist to the point the librarian actually scans your head. After a few failed attempts ask her to try the back of your hand.

10. Stack about 30 books one on top of the other. Start wedging books out of the middle of the pile, when they come crashing down yell "JENGA!"

Learn more about this author, Scott Blackburn.
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