by Mary Bubbins

Created on: February 12, 2008

Let's paint a picture,shall we?

He walks through his door after a ten hour day at work,which began for him at 5 am. Of course he's tired,but it's worth it because he's able to provide for his wife and children,give them a nice home and live comfortably. His day was stressful,but he let it all go on his way home,and when he walks into the kitchen,he smiles and greets his wife with,"Hey babe,how was your day?"

With both hands on her hips and eyes narrowed,almost in hatred,she faces him to spew her response.

"How was my day? How do you THINK it was? The baby cried all day,A.J. used his bedroom wall as a coloring book,I found your filthy socks underneath the couch because you obviously have forgotten where the laundry basket is,and to top it off,I couldn't get to the grocery store to get YOUR dinner because you never filled the gas tank last night like I asked you to. I mean,is it really that hard to remember Alex? I ask a few simple things from you and do you think that you can get them done? NO! I might as well be living alone for as much as you help me around here!"

I realize that this is just a scenario,but trust me,it's a very real scenario that plays out each and every day in the lives of many American families. It's situations like these that lead to spouses going astray and divorce rates rising and all for one simple reason. Lack of
constructive communication.

Complaining in relationships generally takesplace because one person feels as if they are overloaded with a majority of the responsibility and that their partner is either oblivious or just doesn't care about their needs. Most people feel that the remedy to this problem is to scream as loud as they can or nag on a daily basis,which will grab their partner's attention. What they don't realize,especially if the person who is being nagged is a man,is that the exact opposite will occur. Not only will a defense mechanism take place in their in their minds that will automatically tune them out(I call this the "in one ear and out the other syndrome),but eventually they will push this person away emotionally as well. Men don't like to deal with problems. The less stress for them the better. They have this genetic ability to become agitated over something and then let it go and forget about ten minutes later as if never happened,while we as women dwell until we either get the results we are looking for or we just burst from buried anger.

If a man who is working hard every day has to come home to a nag every night,it

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