Should stepparents have parental rights? That is a very touchy question but one that is very personal for me. I am a step parent of a 13 year old girl. My husband and I were married when she was two years old. When I married my husband, I committed to raising and caring for his daughter as my own child. My husband worked two job; therefore, I spent a lot of time with my stepdaughter early in her life. When she was hospitalized during summer visitation, I provided her comfort because her mother claimed she could not drive her car a hour and fifteen minutes to be with her.

My stepdaughter's mom decided to move out of the continental United States when my she was seven years old. We tried to modify the visitation order to allow the child to visit two months out of the year with us, but non-custodial fathers' rights are virtually non-existent. The day the mother left with the child, I felt that she left with a part of me.

We did not see my stepdaughter for over four years after the mother left with her. We tried to modify the visitation order several times, but the law was not on our side. We were told that we had to file for custody in her State in order to force her to allow the child to visit with us. My husband became frustrated and decided to give up trying to obtain visitation rights. When he made that decision, I had to accept it but my heart ached.

If I could, I would never have stopped trying to visit with this child. I would have kept fighting until she was an adult. She deserves no less than all that we have to give. My stepdaughter has a 9 year brother that she has not seen since he was 5 years old. She now has a 1 year old sister that she has never seen. My daughter does not know that her sister exists.

Even though I have not seen my stepdaughter in almost 3 years, I know that I have been an important part of her life. When her mother allows her to speak with us, my stepdaughter always ends the call by telling me that she loves me. I did not give birth to this child, but I love her with all of my heart. I have laughed with her, cried with her, bathed her, kissed her bruises, and have treated her as if she were my own.

Do I think that I should have parental rights? No, I don't because I realize that she is not my child. My stepdaughter and I have a close relationship despite the distance between us. She views me in much the same way as she views her father. She does not remember her father without me. While I don't feel that I should have parental rights, I believe that I deserve acknowledgment that I exist and that I play an important role in my stepdaughter's emotional and social development.

Learn more about this author, Vickie Davis.
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