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Movie reviews: Catwoman (2004)

"Catwoman" (2004) is a strange movie. Its title character isn't a jewel thief who prowls with cat-like stealth. She's a woman who's actually part cat!

Catwoman is infamous for the moment when Halle Berry was given a "Razzie" award - a sort of anti-Oscar - for the worst performance of 2004. This was unprecedented because Berry had received the "Best Actress" award the year before - and because she gamely agreed to show up at the Razzie ceremony and accept their humiliating honor. She delivered the movie's ultimate epitaph in a warning to her agent.

"Next time, read the script first."

The problem with the movie was its screenwriters abandoned the familiar Selena Kyle character from "Batman Returns." Instead Halle Berry plays Patience Phillips, a shy artist working at a cosmetics company. Yes, she's always kind to cats, and when she drowns, an Egyptian cat breathes a mystical feline lifeforce into her. In one unusually weird scene, it's shown that Patience now has a craving for catnip.

It's fun watching the new cat-enhanced character scampering over the tops of buildings, enjoying her quick reflexes and heightened awareness. Interrupting a jewel robbery, she shows her new acrobatic ability by ducking bullets, climbing walls, performing powerful leaps and karate kicks - all with her new cat personality. Before finishing off the last thief, she taunts him by coyly saying... "Meow."

The script makes clear that even in her life as Patience, she's feeling cat-like boldness and even flashes of predatory behavior. ("The day I died was the day I also started to live," Patience says.) A kindly cop takes an interest in Patience, but the audience knows her wild side will keep them from uniting. "To live a life untamed and unafraid is the gift that I've been given," Patience says in the film's final voiceover. "And so my journey begins."

Sharon Stone is over-qualified for her role as the villainous executive at a cosmetics company about to release a skin-damaging makeup. She struggles to bring herself down to the film's level of campy dialogue. ("I'm a woman. I'm used to doing all kinds of things that I don't want to do.") The movie labors to create excitement with slick lighting and hip music.

But it's sabotaged by a script which is just too weird to work.

Learn more about this author, Moe Zilla.
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