by Carel Two-Eagle

Created on: February 11, 2008

Having spent considerable time as both an employer and an employee, I know that body language does not necessarily 'give you away". Psychology is not a hard science; it is a subjective one. That means clues, as seen by psychologists, are subject to interpretation.

Body language 'can' give you away, provided you have something you want to hide; but it doesn't automatically give you away.

Also, reading body language is not an easy task. We have at least 5 senses, and all of them enter into our interactions with others. Tone of voice makes a big difference, for example. And if someone has a hunched posture, does this automatically mean anything about their ability to do a job? Perhaps they are hunched because they have some physical problem.

People with nervous habits such as knucle-cracking or jiggling a foot, for example, are not necessarily duplicitous or even necessarily nervous. Such people often have an abundance of energy, and such nervous habits are just little ways of relieving that pent-up feeling such people get. I know, I'm one of them.

Among us ITI, it is a sign of major disrespect to stare someone in the eye, but in the majority culture, it is taught that people who don't do this are either evading or lying or are in some way untrustworthy. Hogwash. When I disrespect someone and I stare them directly in the eye, they have no doubt I mean to. On the other hand, I have found that if I look at some point "near" their eyes - or one eye - most people can't tell the difference, and since the interpretation of body language is a learned thing, they assume I am (a) looking them in the eye and (b) therefore, I am being honest with them. Yet in the way of all the ITI People I know about, to look someone directly in the eye is a very rude thing to do, so when we look 'near' your eyes, are we telling you the truth with body language, or not? Think about that.

What about people with some physical defect that results in nervous tics, abnormal posture, or some other oddity. Are these people actually saying one thing but meaning another? No.

It is a great disservice both to make and to accept blanket statements such as that body language 'automatically' gives you away. It's another 'one size doesn't fit all' situation, actually. One person's deceit is another person's cultural requirement. Blanket statements about body language do no one any good service.

If someone is always touching others, does it automatically mean anything sexual? Of course not. Yet there are some people, with credentials, who will state this is 'always' the case. Do they lie, or are they simply wrong? It varies, depending on case. But if you look at the body language of these people when they deliver these silly statements, and ask 6 different people what the body language said, you will get at least 4 different analyses.

An old song says, "It ain't what you say, it's the way that you say it; it ain't what you play, it's the way that you play it". Body language is a part of that delivery, of course. But if it were the dominant or deciding factor, why would we need verbal speech? Horses, buffalo, dogs, cats, birds, snakes.... none of them speaks verbally, yet their body language can speak reams.

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