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When it comes to rules for Christian teen dating, there are just as many for parents, as for teens. Not enough reign your teen is liable to disregard anything you have to say and date behind your back anyway. The single most common dating rule for Christian teens is often times the greatest error. This rule can be summed up in one word don't. "You need to focus on your schoolwork." "You don't have time for dating." "You can't afford a girlfriend." "Boys only want one thing." This is just some of the artillery, with which teens get bombard, when they first show an interest in the opposite sex. This parental philosophy on dating is at best, brash. In many cases, these extreme rules of "disengagement" can drive an adolescent right into the situation parents dread the most.

On the other hand, too much reign you and your teen may find yourselves in a situation in which you are not yet ready.

We see the greatest physical changes in our children during their younger years. As they blossom into teenagers, they go through their greatest emotional changes. Teaching them to read and write, catch a ball, or ride their bike was easy compared to the guidance they require as a fledgling young adult. Mistakes made while in school could often be corrected with an eraser. An abrasion, while learning to ride a bike, could always be healed with a Scooby-do band-aid and a kiss. Matters of the heart however, require a completely different approach. To abandon our teenagers during these times of change would be like turning them loose with the car, with no education or practice somebody's going to get hurt.

The rules given to teens, who want to date, should first of all be presented as guidelines. Guidelines are never quite as scary as rules. These guidelines are very much the same as those biblical insights given to us for everyday life. Paul tells us in Galatians 5, "Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit." As we keep in step with the Spirit, the fruits of the Spirit will make themselves known: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. These are not only good principles to live by, these are great rules for dating regardless of you age. The second greatest command Jesus gave us was to love our neighbor as our self. If these rules or guidelines are applied to teenage dating, the hazards so many of us, as parents fear, will be avoided.

There is one more rule that needs to be instilled into the mind of a dating Christian teen communicate; not only with his or her date, but more importantly with you, the parent. This instillation needs to be given, not as an overbearing, nosy busy-bee who wants to know every dirty detail, but as a loving counselor who wants to see their child succeed in healthy relationships. Keep in mind a healthy relationship is not always defined as a "happily ever after" story. Sometimes a healthy relationship means an end to exclusive dating.

As parents, our greatest responsibility is not keeping our children from falling, but helping them up when they do. When considering dating guidelines for your teen, remember you once were there too. You shouldn't take on the role of dictator: "Don't do this, or else!" Take on the role of counselor: "I'm sorry this happened; what can I do to help?" You will gain an enormous amount of respect from your teen if you treat them as the grown-up person they are trying to be, instead of that child who fell off their bike ten years ago. Your relationship with your teen will flourish, and it is only through this relationship your teen will be able to learn the joys, as well as the heartaches of dating.

Learn more about this author, Curtis Hahn.
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