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Parenting is not easy. We are faced with many hurtles to jump. Inevitably we buckle under the pressure. We lose control. Screaming at our children is an affect of losing control. Every parent faces this challenge.

As a homemaker and the mother of three wonderful children, I am not immune to the screaming bug. During the moments I did scream, I had no control of myself. I certainly had no control over my children. They continued with the negative behavior or were intimidated. Either way, I accomplished nothing.

When you do scream, you are not communicating with your children. You are speaking at them. You don't laugh at your children because it will hurt their feelings. Screaming at them does the same thing.

You want your children to be confident. Screaming at them lessens their self worth. They will be less likely to come to you with a concern. They will hesitate to raise their hand in class to ask questions. I speak from experience.

I remember having a feeling of hopelessness. I thought to have to deal with my kids everyday like this would drive me and them insane. I noticed how my oldest child yelled at her brother. She learned that behavior from me. I knew I had to make a change.

I learned to think before I started screaming. I took a moment of mental stillness. I got a hold of my anger. I took several deep breaths. I walked out of the room. I maintained control. Taking these simple steps enabled me to handle a situation in a calm, mature manner. My children actually listened. The crisis was handled. Screaming scene averted. I earned more respect from my children because I did not scream at them.

I think not screaming at your children when they are young will be a great help in communicating with them when they are teens. After all, if you can't control your anger, how do you expect your teenager to magically know how to control theirs? Therefore, you must set the example. Show them that there are better ways to talk to one another besides screaming.

Think about the times you are most stressed. Is it in the morning when you are getting your kids ready for school and yourself ready for work? Or is it in the evening time when you are preparing dinner, helping with homework, and/or trying to get the kids to bed?

Knowing what triggers those stressful moments for you is beneficial in curbing any screaming episodes. I find that it is best for my family if we prepare for our day the night before. I get clothes, shoes, and socks ready. I know what I will fix for breakfast. I get all of my daughter's school books and folders in her backpack. These are little things, but when you're stressing they are a big deal. Even when the morning still doesn't go as planned, and that happens often, I am able to respond in a positive manner.

Screaming is just another form of abuse. It is done out of anger and without thought. If you're not thinking, you're not in control. It is never too late to change your ways.

Learn more about this author, Cheryl Loux.
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