5 of 38

Write now Article Tools

My brother was a funny guy. He was a cross between John Goodman and Larry the Cable Guy. He could get away with telling certain jokes that no one else could. His humor and laughter is one of the top 5 things I miss about him.

My brother died 4 and years ago. He had a massive heart attack at the young age of 38. Of course at the time, my family and I found no humor in the situation. We were devastated, almost beyond repair. The laughter stopped. We couldn't find anyone as funny as my brother. Okay, so maybe we were a little partial

Anyway, as I sit here anticipating the 5th anniversary of his death, I think about his wake. It was actually a memorial service. Wakes and funerals always made him extremely uncomfortable, so he announced years earlier that he wanted to be cremated. There were many laughable moments, which he would have appreciated, in between the actual time he died until the time we received his ashes.

As I said earlier, we were all devastated and looking for a way to relieve the pain of his death. We wanted to feel some connection even with his passing. My sister-in-laws family started logging all the strange phenomena that started just shortly after my brothers death. Situations with lighting turning on and off started happening and one of my brother's in-laws actually felt a bolt go through his body that symbolized my brother had found the light. Let me tell you folks, my brother never had a problem with directions, so I highly doubt he had a problem finding the light. Okay, I admit, I even got caught up in the craziness. I thought my brother was communicating with me through my dryer in the laundry room. My dryer door would magically pop open during a drying cycle. Don't ask, I was really reaching for some connection with him. All right, I will tell you my theory, I know you're dying to hear it (no pun intended). When we were little, we used to play hide and seek and he would hide in the dryer, so I thought this was his way of contacting me. I told you, it was a stretch!

Let me get back to the memorial service. Over a thousand people showed up to show their respects. They were dressed in their best suits, ties and dresses. My brother would have joked that he didn't know half the people that arrived and ask why we didn't make it mandatory that everyone wear jeans and a black t-shirt. My Mom wouldn't allow us to wear black t-shirts growing up, so this memorial deviance would have been delightful to him. As a member of the big and tall group, he was never comfortable in anything but casual attire.

Every time I hear the song "He ain't heavy, he's my brother," by the Hollies, it reminds me of the reception after my brother's memorial service. His ashes were placed on a table next to some pictures and mementos. The guest started leaving and it was time to pack up everything to go home. My husband looked at the urn with my brother's ashes and quietly whispered to me, "Wow, he was a big guy, how much do you think this weighs!" Those words were the first glimmer of hope there would someday be laughter in our family again. He wouldn't want us to spend the rest of our lives in tears.

I miss my brother, especially now that he found his way to the light and stopped hanging out in my dryer.

Learn more about this author, Diane Soave.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Humor: Funerals?
We want to hear your view. Write now!