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How does one know if one is a really bad driver? Especially if one has never had a speeding ticket?

Think about how many things you have run over or run into. Multiply that times the number of accidents you have had. Divide that by the times that you have been stopped but not ticketed, and you have a good approximation. Following is the personal narrative that corresponds to the mathematical equation of my bad-driver status.

Running Over Things

You can run over things in a variety of vehicles. Cars, golf carts, John Deere Gators-each slides slippery into different places, producing a plethora of possibilities for flattening things. While in a car, sometimes you do not have a choice whether you will run over something. While speeding along the interstate between Seattle and Spokane, my dad and I ran over a raccoon. I wasn't driving, he was, but it was my brand new car we were in. The raccoon came out the other end, cracking my bumper. Bummer!

Golf carts are so tempting to drive into places nobody should drive. Take, for instance, a field of Christmas lights set up for, maybe, a garden holiday light show? It is so tempting to drive right up to the tree with electrical tape and extension cords. Resist temptation, especially on the grand-opening day of the event. Unless you and your brake pedal are "tight," you will have disaster-disaster than involves glass and expensive tires.

Running Into Things

Be aware while backing up. All I can say is that at least 50% of accidents happen while backing up. (Maybe not, but it sure seems that way.) The best backing up story from personal experience was the time I backed out of the garage and into my Dad's car. He then got a rental car, which he parked in the same place as the car I backed into. I promptly backed into the rental car as well. Beware of dark parking lots. In Vermont, where there are no lights anywhere, parking lots are dark dwellings of doom. Should you need to back up in the middle of winter, in the middle of the night, while in Vermont, thoroughly check behind you with a flashlight. At -20 degrees, car bumpers don't bend-they shatter.

Backing out of a garage has its own challenges. Whether backing up in a car, or a golf cart, be aware of motor vehicle parts that "stick out." Those parts will reach out and grab, literally grab, weather-stripping around a garage and rip it off.

Driving into Your Own House

When pulling into your garage, it is imperative to remain undistracted. Focus on nothing but pulling in and hitting

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