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if the person is then able to let it go. Sometimes hearing problems out loud reinforces the frustration instead of releasing it. It may sound like negative people are convincing themselves of the problem as they speak. Or they may get off topic and start listing every problem in their lives, revealing how overwhelmed they feel.

When this happens, they may be stuck in a cycle where talking, or thinking, about the problem (or problems) feeds their negativity and makes solutions seem impossible. Taking a break to talk about something more positive may break that cycle.

When trying to divert someone from this kind of downward spiral, don't ignore or minimize the problem. Instead, point out that the frustration with the problem is making it difficult to find a solution. Suggest taking a break for a few minutes to talk about something lighter and agree to come back to the problem later. You will have to be persistent in diverting the person's attention, but if you succeed, it just might help.

While you may feel sorry for another person's unhappiness, you may not always be able to change it. Remember that negativity is contagious and avoid letting someone else's problems become your own. As much as you want to help, you cannot control another person's feelings. However, you can control your own reaction to negativity.

When you begin to feel that a negative person is dragging down your own happiness, you owe it to yourself to step away from that person. If it is a minor person in your life, such as a colleague, try to distance yourself and keep to a professional relationship. If it is a loved one, step away for a short while to clear your mind. You will not be of much help if your frustration gets the better of you.

If your efforts do not seem to be helping, it may be time to suggest seeing a therapist or counselor. Sometimes it is easier for people to take advice from an objective third-party than from someone they know. A therapist or counselor can help negative people learn to deal with their problems in a healthier way.

Learn more about this author, Susan Quilty.
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