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Can extra curricular activities really help children resist peer pressure? Can there really be a connection between keeping children busy and who they hang out with? What is it about these varied activities that helps not only broaden a child's horizons and world view, but also helps to build up their self esteem and avoid the many pitfalls that accompany peer pressure?

Children look for role models in whatever they are involved in. Often as children age, parents become viewed less as role models and more as antagonists. It is by being allowed to participate in not only sports, but also music, drama, and service organizations that children become more well- rounded individuals and better able to resist the peer pressure that society thrusts on them.

Extra curricular activities help teach children how to get along with people, how to deal with a lot of different personalities, and how to choose friends that are fun to be around, without getting in too much trouble at school or at home. Our son during high school participated in football, basketball, track, marching band, choir, show choir, and an All-State singing group. He often had to be at school by 6:30 in the morning and was often there until 6 p.m. or later when a practice ended. Not only did this teach him time management, which came in very handy at college, but he also did not have a lot of down time to fill. He developed friends within all of these activities, but often they were people much like him with varied interests and enough activities to keep them from feeling bored and looking for something to do with their time.

Peer pressure can be especially hard on girls. Not only are they pressured to wear the right clothes but in one instance my youngest daughter was told that she was not hanging around with the right crowd and could become much more popular if she would just attend some parties with a certain acquaintance. At that time, my daughter was friends with some of the top students in her class and involved in activities that ranged from sports to music. These girls have since gone on to become research scientists, teachers, and ministers, many with advanced degrees. The "friend" who wanted to help my daughter become popular, had a child out of wedlock and many of the "popular" people at those parties are currently struggling with their careers and lives. I believe that it was the commitment to her activities and the friends she had made in those activities that gave my daughter the ability to say "No," to the party invitation and go on to develop friendships with some of the movers and shakers in her graduating class.

As a parent, I often got aggravated that my life revolved around one child's activity after another. But after seeing all three of my children graduate from college and develop successful careers, I am a believer that all of those hours spent in gyms and on bleachers in the rain, sleet, and snow, were well worth the final results. So don't let anyone tell you that your kids are better off staying home and playing computer games. Allow your child to go out and experience the thrill of success and the agony of defeat. Both experiences and all of the others in between help develop children into more interesting adults.

Learn more about this author, TD Small.
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