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"Oh, you're being too hard on Bobby. It's okay Bobby. Grandma says you don't need a nap."

I look at my mother like she is from another planet. Are you kidding me? Is this the same person that raised me?

"No, Bobby does need a nap," I say and lead my crying son into the bedroom. After a few minutes of kicking and throwing a fit, the exhausted child fell into a peaceful and well-needed sleep.

Then the next phase began as my mother and I discussed her undermining my authority with my own child. These kinds of events happened less often but occasionally they reared their ugly heads and we would have a refresher conversation. To maintain good relations, it is important for grandparents to avoid interfering in parenting their grandchildren.

1) Undermining authority. When grandparents step in to overshadow the parent of the child's discipline and rules, it undermines the authority of the parent. It makes it that much more difficult for the parent to maintain rules and order. It must be clear that the parents are the ones in charge.

2) Paying for it later on. It sets an example that parents do not need to be respected and that their rules are not law. Although this may seem like a small thing when it comes to having an extra cookie or taking a nap when the child is small, eventually this child grows up to be a teenager. At that age it is essential that the parent is seen as the authority. If this hasn't been established at a young age, it is difficult,if not impossible, to change in teens. In the long run, it is important that the parent is seen as a person worthy of respect.

3) Grandparents don't necessarily know better. Remember that times have changed. There are societal differences from the previous generation. Today there are much greater influences through media and peers than there were. Grandparents need to realize that current times need current answers. Respect that the parent may know more about those than the past generation.

4)Instill confidence in the parents. If grandparents not only refuse to interfere in parenting, but go as far as reinforcing the parental decisions it will create a unified front. It makes the parents feel like they are doing a good job in their own parents' eyes. This is a key part of being a successful parent.

5) Wait until the parent asks for advice. Grandparents do not need to dominate the parents with advice, scolding and "I told you so's." Wait until the parent comes with questions and requests for advice. That is when sage advice is

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