It is a sign of the times, I think, that we now openly discuss why married women have affairs. Not "do they?" or "should they", but a clear discussion on the rationale behind these affairs. I am a man with a deeply personal perspective on this issue as 5 years ago my wife of 11 years, and partner of 15 years (since school), admitted to me that she was having an affair with an office colleague. This affair started the pathway to ultimate separation and divorce, so it is a deeply personal issue to me. Having said that, I am not writing this with any misogynistic feeling, but with a clear knowledge of where our relationship was going wrong, my accepted part in that decline and the reasons behind the affair.

Women commit to a long-term relationship, and marriage, based on a number of strong and deeply personal factors. They commit on the basis that the relationship will be based on trust, love, compassion, sharing and a sense of "partnership". These feelings are extremely important and powerful and the breakdown of the perception of any of these feelings can deal a devastating blow to the success of the relationship, and the commitment that a woman feels towards her partner. She will feel that her ideals have been broken and that she can never commit on that level with that partner again, and that the relationship is emotionally "broken".

Whilst it may, this does not always lead to an affair. The woman may remain in the relationship for the sake of any children, due to issues over domestic violence or just to maintain her life on a "normal" setting, but with these essential bonds broken, the woman will feel less committed to the relationship. In this instance it is entirely possible that she will meet someone that can fill that void. As many people want what they can't realistically can't have, or view life as though "the grass is always greener on the other side", the attraction felt towards another person who can provide the emotional building blocks that are missing from the existing relationship, can be huge. They may well find this attraction impossible to ignore.

These existing bonds can be broken at any time, and may lead to an affair as they view the other person as providing the pieces that are missing. Take my example, my wife and I had known each other from school and had built up very strong links at all levels. We married and had children, and the strain of these changes on our relationship took a devastating toll. I admit that I was never

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