Today, I'm having an off day,
And everything's gone wrong,
My mum managed to humiliate me,
By bursting into song,
My dog has taken my slippers,
And ripped them up to shreds,
And worst of all my goldfish died,
My cat ripped off its head!

Today, I'm having an off day,
I can't think what to do,
My little brother's gone insane,
He's hidden my best shoes,
My mum is in the garden,
Singing to a tree,
I really don't have the faintest idea,
What's happening to me.

Today, I'm having an off day,
My hairs all up on end,
No matter what I try to do,
The straight bits will not bend,
I put my shirt on back to front,
My glasses broke as well,
I really think today's the day,
I'm given a taste of hell,

Today, I'm having an off day,
The neighbour's gone beserk,
He tugged on our front door handle,
And pulled it off with a jerk,
A mouse has chewed the curtain cords,
They've fallen on the floor,
The worst thing I did this morning,
Was walk 'through; my bedroom door.

Today, I'm having an off day,
The cat is going mad,
At first he ate my goldfish and
He then attacked my dad!
So my dad has now gone moody,
He threw a plate at me,
It missed my head to my surprise,
And went through the TV!

Today, I'm having an off day,
My brother's got the flu,
And just my luck guess what he did,
Gave it to me too!
So now im coughing and sneezing,
And aching in the head,
Whilst my dad is howling on the floor,
Because the fish is dead.

Today, I'm having an off day,
But I'll bear it with a grin,
'Cos I know swearing and cursing,
Is one of those deadly sins,
So Ive curled up in my bedroom,
Am sat underneath my bed,
So that today will pass more safely,
While I rub my aching head.

Learn more about this author, Rachel Newland.
Click here to send author comments or questions.

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