I am a classical example of a person who has created a gap between my parents and me. I thought I was the natural anti-social type. Or maybe I was made to be one while growing up in a family environment where I only witnessed fights and arguments between my father and mother, from sunrise to sunset. I couldn't remember our house being quite for a moment in the last 25 disturbing years.

I never experienced the obvious attention and care from a parent, or both parents at that. It was only lately that I realized they too were struggling with their own misgivings in life. They ended up being illegally separated and having multiple affairs of their own. They were trying to survive emotionally but could not get things to work between themselves. I think, their marriage could have worked if they were strangers to each other.

Because of these events in the past, not only was I distant to the very first persons I was supposed to have a relationship with but it affected how I treated people. Every time I establish bonds with friends, I have this involuntary response of hatred if they do not do what I expect them to do. I wanted them to be at my mercy all the time. I believe I was hungrily/angrily demanding for attention and obviously affection. But of course it didn't need to be real. I kept this struggle deep within my soul, making me withdrawn all the more.

It will be quite difficult for a child who will NOT be able to get the love and protection from parents because it is either they will not know how to purely love someone or they will look for it outside their homes. Most often than not, they'd look for it and get "love" from an unfriendly environment- again placing them at a dilemma in dealing with their lives in the future. It is also almost possible that they WILL treat their children the way they were treated as a child. They too might not be able to give the love and protection to thier children, and their children to their children, utnil it becomes an endless cycle.

I gave a negative premises regarding the topic for the purposes of giving a depressing result of an unloved child. And of course, with the life I had, I cannot speak in behalf of those children who knew how to love and be loved in return.

Learn more about this author, Averyl Marie Orejola.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about Why children need love and protection?
We want to hear your view. Write now!