While my son and I were driving somewhere in my car, I suddenly had to slam on the brakes. I did so to avoid crashing into a moron who had just zipped into my lane without a warning. I held back on the cuss words, but when my son asked me why I was muttering under my breath, I told him that the person in the other car had cut in front of me.

Chance (five years old at the time) said, matter-of-factly, "Doesn't he know he's not supposed to butt in line?"

Out of the mouths of babes. . .
Our daily commutes would be so much better if only drivers used what we all learned in kindergarten. I know, that was a long time ago. You've forgotten them. Here's a refresher course:

1. LET OTHERS KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING. The best way to do so in a moving vehicle is by using that funny stick located on the steering wheel column. It's called a turning signal. The car won't detonate if you use it, I promise.

2. WAIT YOUR TURN. If a lane ahead is suddenly closed due to an accident, road construction or just because the contractors got their jollies by shutting the lane down for no reason, take turns pulling out and around the obstruction.

3. DON'T BE GREEDY. Don't take up more than one lane. Don't block the intersection when your light is turning red. Don't pull up in the right lane with intentions to go straight when everyone behind you is attempting to turn.

4. WALK, DON'T RUN. Drive the speed limit. If you are driving ten miles in a 45 mph zone and going sixty miles an hour, all you'll save is about three minutes. Is it worth risking an accident to save yourself three minutes?

5. DON'T DAWDLE. If the speed limit is 50 mph, and you're going forty, step on the gas. The people behind you are annoyed. If the light has turned green, put down that bagle/razor/ mascara/newspaper/whatever and go. The people in line behind you will be thrilled.

6. PAY ATTENTION. Don't slow down to gawk at the gruesome accident, the cop writing out a ticket to a lead-foot or even to watch someone changing a flat tire. I know these are all interesting to ogle, but the real activity is on the road in front of you. Put down that cell phone. There's very few life and death situations that require a cell phone call while on the road. Wait ten minutes until you're at your destination and then talk, talk, talk to your little heart's content.

7. PLAN AHEAD. If you have driven the same route for five years, and you always turn at the same corner, try scooting over into the proper lane half a mile before you reach that exit instead of waiting until the last minute, where you must slash across two lanes at breakneck speed in order to make it.

8. DON'T TALK RUDELY ABOUT OTHERS. Calling a fellow commuter an idiot is mean-spirited and rude. Not to mention it gets your blood pressure spiking. Just smile and nod, as if you realize that they all are. . .well, idiots.

9. BE POLITE TO EVERYONE. The driver that just cut you off. . . that little old lady weaving in and out of traffic. . .there's a chance that they're not really bad drivers. The driver who cut you off may be rushing to get to the hospital to witness the birth of his first child. That little old lady is someone's mom. Would you want someone to treat your mom the way you're treating that stranger?

10. And let's not forget THE GOLDEN RULE: Do unto other drivers as you would like to have them do unto you.

Follow these simple rules and we'll all get there alive. And if you ever visit Phoenix and see a lady over in the next lane talking to herself, don't worry. She's actually having a conversation with you.

Be glad you can't hear what she's saying.

Learn more about this author, Ali Koomen.
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