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Selfish

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I suppose that it depends upon the circumstances of the adoption. However, I believe that in virtually all cases it is purely selfish on the birth mothers part. It doesn't matter if she is too young to have a child or too poor or unmarried and struggling. Its a selfish act that is based upon her needs first and her childs second. I just feel thats the honest answer to everything. We can mask it, sugar coat it, or whatever we want but the fact is that she does not wish to make the sacrifices that are necessary to be a good mother. And by her inability or her reluctance to make those sacrifices it all comes down to one thing and one thing only, she is thinking of herself first and her baby second.

We don't live in a third world country where a mother will give her child up because there are no options. She is starving, her family is starving, and only through placing a baby in an orphanage will it receive care and food. In this country there are options for mothers who wish to keep their children. They can certainly receive everything from food benefits to housing from the goverment. Will it be hard? Yes, of course it will be hard. But that would be putting your child first and not yourself.

I'm a child of adoption. My mother had me at seventeen and placed me up for adoption. I understand why she did it. And I'm alright with it. However, I know that it was truly done out of selfish reasons on her part and not a matter of 'giving'. She didn't want to be seventeen and have a baby tying her down. Plain and simple. She was too young and she hadn't lived her life. She adopted me out and then headed to California to be with my biological father who she later married. But a baby didn't fit into those plans or that lifestyle. Ultimately, I ended up with a better life then I would have had with her but the very act of her adopting me out at close to a year old so she could flee to be with my biological father and live the lifestyle of the late sixties and early seventies was selfish on her part.

I know that there are many teenage girls out there that are too young mentally and emotionally to care for a child, however, no matter how you look at it, the needs of that teenage mother are being placed before her childs needs. Thus making it a selfish act on the birth mothers part. Rather then seeking out education for the teen mother and assistance which is readily available she decides to unload the baby.

And as you advance in age it becomes even more selfish for a woman to adopt out her child or children. Your babies needs always come first. Not your need to be free of the baby.

Learn more about this author, Kim Sharpe.
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