Dear parents of teenagers getting over a crush -

They may think they can't get over this crush or relationship, but as their parents, we know they can and will. It takes time, patience, and the will to do so. With time comes the understanding we adults have gained through the years; with time, their understanding will also grow. If they've been rejected, they need to learn to forgive and move on. You can be a big help in teaching them how to move forward after a crush that has ended in some inevitable heartache.

Teenage crushes and relationships are a sort of trial run, in most cases. Seldom will these early crushes be the ones that define a pattern of relationships in the future, although in some cases they may. Moving on is what you will want to help them do. But when a teen crush is over, moving on is a difficult concept. At the time, it does seem as though all is lost and always will be lost. Teens need guidance to recognize that this is not the case. Life is just beginning for them, and they will probably have many more crushes and relationships before they are ready to commit to one person in a serious relationship.

Help your teen get over a crush by talking with them about the realities of this situation. You may also want to suggest some professional help from a priest, minister, or rabbi, a doctor, or a counselor for a guidance from people who can be objective. Your teen most likely can't be objective at this point and may need others to get them on track. Family may or may not be helpful, but there is probably someone in whom they can confide. Someone they trust. A parent may not be the person the teen feels most comfortable with when discussing crushes or teenage relationships.

Also, encourage them to get involved in some outside, preferably new activities. In time, your teen will not only find some new friends, but will learn about a whole new activity. Whatever it is they take on, urge them to give it their all, realizing they can and will get past the after-effects of their crush. As they devote time to this new interest, they will be filling the hours with different activities that take their mind off the object of their crush.

Help them recognize they have a lot to offer. Assist in helping them find places to volunteer somewhere - it will give them a great sense of accomplishment! They will feel good about themselves, and it will help on a resume or college application. Best of all, they will feel needed, and that's one of the things they've probably lost during their preoccupation with the crush. They will learn that they are needed and will discover how good that feels.

Finally, try to explain that a crush is one of a number of important life lessons, and one that will serve them well in the future. After one or more crush has ended, they will have learned much about how to be strong and confident in their more serious future relationships.

Learn more about this author, Arabella Kelly.
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