Fewer experiences are more emotionally intense or painful for a teen than unrequited love. This is often the case when teens have a crush on a peer or a celebrity. Each of us has to conquer our own pain and sorrow, but we can help our teen and each other get through them a little more easily. I don't think we can actually help anyone 'get over' a crush, as they usually have to run their course, so they need help getting over the difficulties that come with a crush.

When a teen has a crush it's serious business for them. So, please don't treat it as superficial or tell them, flippantly, "you'll get over it" or laugh and roll your eyes. Chances are they will get over it and be a stronger person for it, but hearing that from you only increases their feelings of hopelessness and pain. Helping them realize they will get over it is a better approach.

Try to remind them of their own strengths in getting through difficult situations. Maybe they've lost a pet, or a grandparent or a best friend moved far away. Remind them how sad they felt at the time and how they gradually felt better until it didn't hurt much or at all. Point out that all of us have crushes or feelings for someone' and it's part of the learning and growing process of becoming a stronger person or developing a stronger spirit. Like the old saying, that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger' - although I would not use those exact words as they're trite and may give a seriously troubled teen ideas. They're very suggestible at this stage, so need careful handling.

Try to spend more time with them to help them take their mind off of their crush. Although having a crush is rather normal and doesn't have to be painful, it can be all-consuming and take over a teens world. Taking them away from that fixation will help them get a grip and realize there is more to life outside their beloved.' Try to encourage them to develop another interest, share an interest or hobby with them, or just to a movie (not one starring their 'crush' person of course) or take them for a walk ant try to get them to talk about other interests in their life.

Share with them various heroes and heroines in art, literature and music who expressed their feelings while in the throes of a crush and suggest to your teen that they paint, draw, write poetry, make up a dance or any creative expression of their feelings. This will help them get some of those feelings out' and also may lead the way to an interest in

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