It all started 15 years ago with a stubborn child that was 2 weeks late and came out weighing 9 pounds 1 ounce. It ended up with me being blind and wondering why do kids not come with some kind of instruction booklet that can interact with these willful creatures.

I am a mother of 5 children. I deal with everything from "Shes wearing my panties!" wailed at 6:30 in the morning to my 3 year old reporting "She hit me!" for no other reason than to get 1 of the other heathens into trouble. My latest tale of woe tho is troubling. While I know I will never make Good Housekeeping's mother of the year award, I do my best.

This is a growing up tale of my oldest son. He has traumatized me for life. The other night i let my 15 tear old borrow my cell phone so he could text his friends. it was about 8:30 at night and I fell asleep before I got my phone back. The next morning I charged my phone and the day was looking good, until my 3 year old had to look cute and I wanted to take a picture of him. When I pushed the camera shortcut button a picture of a penis popped up. At first I was puzzled and thought ho did that get there. Then I was like well its a pic so who's could it be? No, not my fiancee? Followed by a wave of nausea and then I dropped the phone. I realized who had the phone last night was the likely suspect. I sat there wondering how to address this issue. So I got a sock and tennis ball to go Wake this wonderful child up and ask why he would traumatize and violate his mother who went through untold pain and hardships to bring him into this world and raise him to be the tramp he turned out to be.

I put the ball into the soc and woke him up with a few love taps. He looked up at me, saw my face and innocently asked mom whats wrong? I asked him what did you do last night? He answered vaguely. So I snapped. With my sock asked him lovingly, "Why is there 3 Pictures of your penis on my phone?!" At this point he starts laughing, (so i know it was him). I was just messing around. I felt 4 more gray hairs spout from my temple and my eyes started twitching and I went blind in both eyes. Half of it was probably because I tried to poke my eyes out with my fingers to erase the images.

It is a few days later now and I am getting my eyesight back slowly. I am recovering from my violation through my own flesh and blood. I will probably have to join a support group or something. He thinks this is done though. I know better, I have a great story to traumatize him at graduation. Payback is great!

Learn more about this author, Ctyna.
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