On October 8, 2004, Montgomery County took my daughter away from me, and I entered the surreal and hitherto unknown world of Family Court, Social Services, lawyers, foster care, Child Preventive Services and Child Protective Services (CPS). I got my daughter back eight months later and have spent the last year trying to undo the damage that was done to her while in the county's care. While at Northeast Parent & Child Society's Children's Home in Schenectady, New York, where the county placed her, she learned to smoke marijuana and steal cold medicine to get high, among other things.

While some of the "surrogate" parents who looked after my daughter tried hard, the only requirements for their job was a driver's license and a high school diploma. Many were in their twenties and had little or no parenting experience. The Child Preventive caseworker that I refused to let the county pawn off on me was arrested last year for Medicaid fraud, and one CPS investigator in Montgomery County was arrested on drug charges. And they had the gall to say I was a bad dad.

I was not accused of abuse. Instead the county brought a petition of neglect against me based on the nebulous charges of "inadequate guardianship" and "emotional neglect." My daughter was in Ellis Hospital at the time and a staff member at the hospital called the state hotline and made several incredible statements including one that said, "If the child is sent home instead [of placing her elsewhere] her safety cannot be ensured due to the restrictive demands of the father to do family chores." I don't understand what the phrase restrictive demands means, but I don't thinking keeping your room clean, helping to take care of your own horse, and emptying the dishwasher once a day qualify as restrictive demands.

But I don't want to say any more about my case, at least for now, because what happened to me is minor compared to what has happened to other people. After listening to other parents who have had similar and worse experiences, after reading columnist Carl Strock's excellent Mother's Day column about a mother who had her children taken away, his follow-up column, and letters to the editor on the subject, I felt it was time to speak up.

Unfortunately, many parents caught up in the labyrinthine system we give the oxymoronic title, Family Court-a place where families are dissolved by divorce and children are taken away from their parents-often do not have the skills to defend themselves or are

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