1. Twenty percent of Americans who'll determine the next President are 65 or older. Or, as John McCain calls them, the whippersnapper vote.

2. Super-conservative mouthpiece Ann Coulter is so anti-McCain, she said if Mac gets the Republican nomination, she'll toss her hat in the ring for Hillary. And maybe her flying broom and black cat, too?

3. With all the Kennedys jumping on his bandwagon, has Barack Obama been taking John F. Kennedy speech lessons? His next TV ad could begin with, "Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do to make Hillary stop coming on to me."

4. Saturday primaries in Kansas, Louisiana and Washington had mixed results. Most important was Sunday's in Maine, because of the old the saying: as Maine goes, so goes the nation. Oh, sure, wasn't Maine right to predict wins for Presidents Alf Landon, Tom Dewey, Hubert Humphrey, Adlai Stevenson and Ross Perot?

5. Don't get 'em confused. The bearded schmuck who lives in a cave is Osama, the skinny young Senator running for President is Obama, and the paparazzi guy who wants Britney's money is also Osama. If you tell me they all played football at Bama, I'll go get yo' mama!

6. Hillary's public tears are getting her lots of votes, so the Republicans need to find ways to make John McCain cry. That should be easy. Tell him his blonde babe wife just ran off with a much younger guy, Larry King.

7. Now that the Republicans must learn to love McCain, he's saying, "Let's get on with it." And now that Hillary and Barak are hugging and kissing so much, she's saying, "Let's get it on."

8. Did you see the old photos of Ronald Reagan chatting with John McCain? For super-conservative Republicans who fear they'll lose their jobs if McCain wins, it's like a scary movie: The Great Communicator Meets The Great Excommunicator.

9. Because the state's poll workers are bit elderly, the Florida Republican primary votes have just been counted. The results are 30% for McCain, 12% for Huckabee, 15% for Teddy Roosevelt and 8% for Abraham Lincoln.

10. Following McCain's victories, conservative radio yappers, Limbaugh, Coulter, Hannity and Savage, who squawked against him for years, now say they're coming out (of their holes) for McCain. Well, after all, this is the Year of the Rat.

Learn more about this author, Ted Sherman.
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