Workplace conflict is a fact of life but it does not have to be a way of life. Understanding what leads to conflicts in the workplace can often provide you with clues to manage and minimize its effects.

The first step to resolving workplace conflict is to properly identify the issue. This may sound rather simplistic but many times the reason you have a conflict with an individual or individuals may not be immediately obvious. Unfortunately, this is where knowing where you fall on an emotional IQ (EQ) scale becomes important. If you have poor or below average EQ, you may not be aware of the signals others are giving you and as a result the conflict could in fact be a miscommunication. Once identified, miscommunication can usually be resolved with both parties gaining a greater understanding of one another. There are a number of on-line websites that off EQ testing as well as career or life-coach counseling companies that offer this testing.

If the reason for the conflict is obvious, such as a disagreement over an assignment, you should try to discuss the issue with the other party on neutral ground. Suggest meeting for lunch or asking if you can walk out together to talk for a moment at the end of the day. Try to see the other person's side of the disagreement and be prepared to acknowledge that you may have come across in an overly hostile or aggressive manner. Seek to understand them before you try to force them to understand your position. Once you have actively listened to their position, you should calmly ask that they hear you out in return. Then you both should explore whether a compromise is possible. It may be wise to suggest a meeting the following day to close the loop on any potential ideas for compromise.

Be aware that sometimes you have to lose a battle to win the war. In business, one of the traits of a world-class leader is being able to know what is important and what can be let go to achieve the ultimate end-state. Are you in conflict with someone because you have to have the last word, or you have to have things your way? What if doing things "your way" will mean you miss the launch date for a product? What if having the last word means that you'll alienate a critical member of your team? Step back and think through what the issue really is and why the conflict has occurred, then look at the ultimate goal and how it will be impacted by this conflict.

There are going to be occasions when the conflict is simply because the other person does not like you or vice versa. Much as we would all like to be liked and see the best in others, the reality is that you are going to meet people that you do not like for some reason and there are going to be people who don't like you. Just because you do not like someone, it does not need to lead to conflict. Sometimes this dislike is due to your own emotional baggage and has little or nothing to do with the object of your dislike. If this is the case, it may be time to seek counseling or force yourself to view the person for who they are not your preconceived notions. If the dislike is directed at you and is the source of conflict, reach out to the other person to see if you can find ways to work together amicably.

Lastly, there are some forms of conflict that can not be resolved without involving your management or HR department. While this is part of what management and HR are there to do, it is always in your best interest to try to resolve things on your own first, unless doing so would put you or the company at risk.

Learn more about this author, Mairead Walpole.
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