My mother was diagnosed with Lymphoma when I was 17 years old. It was my Senior year in high school. I had an extremely active social life, dating, friends, acquaintances and working part time. My mother had just began a new job where she was finally making good money. She was hospitalized. I visited her at the hospital and wasn't sure what was wrong; not sure my mother knew either and then went to the next party.

Well I was paged on my beeper at about midnight. I was in the streets of New York City somewhere in the 40's trying to get into a concert. It was my cousin. What is she doing calling me at this time? I called her back on a pay phone facing the Ed Sullivan Theater- where David Letterman is filmed. "Your mother has cancer" she said. I'm not sure of my reaction but whatever it was i ignored what it could've become and kept hanging out. I drank and played and continued as if nothing was going on. I had more freedom. My mother was hospitalized. I visited her everyday. I think.

My senior trip to Cancun was scheduled and I went. It was all paid for by my mother. I cried once with my good friend Tim. We promised to raise our kids on the same street one day, while we cried drunk over our personal woes. Once back in the city I continued not to deal with my mother's health. I went to school. I quit my job and I spent even more time with my friends.

My neighbors helped my mother while she went through Chemotherapy. My aunt came from Puerto Rico and stayed with her a few weeks. My other aunt who rarely left her apartment due to her bad knees visited more frequently. My mother was given a home health aid to help do things around the house. My mother lost all of her hair. She who took one hour each day to do her hair and make up, no longer had hair. She wore a handkerchief each day and continued fighting for her life.

She won the fight. No thanks to me. I am grateful. There's no excuse for my behavior. Was I such a terribly selfish adolescent I could not help? Was the fear of feeling and losing a mother so great I wanted to pretend it wasn't happening?-the fight for survival. My mother's cancer has been in remission for 15 years. I finished high school, college and obtained my masters and beyond as she always would've wanted. I got married and have children. She loves my husband. She has cared for my oldest daughter who is now in Preschool and she is caring for my two year old son while I work. I buy her gifts and send her on vacations and have my children around her as much as possible.

I hope each day she will be with us for 20 more years.

Learn more about this author, life rodriguez.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about Testimonies: How I coped with my parent's cancer?
We want to hear your view. Write now!