As a non-Christian who routinely dates Christians I've experienced the full range, I think, of Christian religious expression, from those Christians who are Christians in name only, to those whose faith informs every aspect of their lives.

The one over-riding thing I've learned is that it's unwise to judge a person by what they profess their religion to be - you're better off judging a book by its cover!

Some Christians, for example those of the fundamentalist branches like Baptist and Pentecostal, are adamant that sex before marriage is wrong. But that doesn't mean they necessarily abstain...

One Christian girl I dated for nearly a year just defined "sex" so narrowly that only one sexual activity was precluded, and she was so enthusiastic in engaging in the other activities that I never missed it!

Another Christian girl I knew believed that sex before marriage was wrong, but her approach was simply to do her best to resist temptation and, when the inevitable transpired, simply ask for forgiveness.

To be fair, another girl I knew really was sincere in her desire to save herself for marriage. She's still not married though, and is over thirty, and in her case I can't help but wonder which came first: her aversion to sex or her Christianity.

Of course, most of the girls who identify themselves as "Christian" on census forms don't conform their entire lives, their dating life or otherwise, to the tenets of their religion. They may or may not go to church on Sunday, but they rarely mention their faith.

At least they rarely mention it until the subject of marriage comes up! I've been engaged twice, both times to Christian girls, and on both occasions the religion that our kids would be raised in became a lively issue. We'd never discussed religion until then, and it didn't otherwise impact our relationship, but, I suppose because of family expectations, it became important on the prospect of marriage.

The biggest thing I've discovered in my dating of Christians is that there is more difference between them as individuals, than there are commonalities as a result of their shared faith. I don't take anything for granted when a girl tells me she's a Christian, in other words. I know that I'm going to have to get to know her as an individual, and her religion is just one facet of life. If she's willing to date me then I know she's cool about dating non-Christians, but not much else about how her faith will affect our relationship. For non-Christians dating Christians my advice would be to set aside any preconceptions you may have, and just concentrate on getting to know your Christian date as a person.

Learn more about this author, David Riel.
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