Often we think we are being positive in our words and behavior; all the while, subtle but insidious, phrases come tumbling out of our mouths into our conversation, or involuntarily run rampant through our thoughts.

Certain negative words and phrases should be avoided in order to maintain a positive outlook on life. The phrases I am referring to fall into three categories; words which conjure up regrets, words which place responsibility or blame for our lives on others and words which resemble excuses:

* Words which conjure up regret

"If only I hadn't..."
"I wish I didn't..."
"I never should have..."
"I regret..."
"That was dumb of me..."

Each sentence beginning with one of these phrases is designed to reflect regret over past behavior or activity. Living in the past, or bringing negative baggage into the present, interferes with having positive feelings. Letting go of the past will insure our thoughts and conversations do not drag us back or hold us down.

* Words which place responsibility or blame on others

"No one ever..."
"Why doesn't someone..."
"He/she should have..."
"They did not..."

Sentences or thoughts which begin with any variation of these phrases are actually forms of placing blame on others for our underachievements or shortcomings. This type of thinking will destroy any attempts to live in a positive way. By taking ownership of our actions and learning from our mistakes, we can move forward in our lives. When we assign blame to others, we make no effort to change to a more positive stance, for we believe life is out of our control.

* Words that resemble excuses

"I would, but..."
"I could, but..."
"I want to, but..."

"But" is the most limiting word in our vocabulary. It allows us to make excuses instead of making progress. Whenever we hear ourselves using the word "but" in our thoughts or conversations, it is time to examine the content of our thoughts and words. Are we excusing ourselves rather than striving to make positive changes?

It is not easy in our modern day chaotic lifestyle to take the time to reflect on our thoughts and words. Society, media blitz and popular opinion seem to be the driving forces influencing our lives. It takes concentrated effort and constant editing of negative thoughts to affirm our values. It is not always easy to adopt a positive perspective, but it is possible.

Determining to eliminate negative words and phrases from our conversations and thoughts will enable us to become the happy, positive individuals we were born to be.

Learn more about this author, Carol Gioia.
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