The best tip I can provide would be a letter I wrote to my daughter when she had a crush on a guy. Since the problem with crushes seem to be that they leave you feeling crused, I tried to provide the wisdom I found from experience to my child, who like me, was dwelling on what love wasn't.

I hope you will find my letter helpful to you and your teen too. There's nothing that hurts worse than a borken heart, and nothing that will break it faster than a crush, so please read and maybe you too can share with your teen what experience taught you.

Dear daughter of mine,

I hate to see your mind dwelling on this guy all the time. He only seems to be Prince Charming in your mind. If he knew the jewel that he can't see, he'd see the treasure you are. Your true love will see immediately the prize in your eyes, so please just wait for that day and get over this other guy. It isn't love, but just a crush. Don't you see that love doesn't crush? It thrives and survives any demise, but it never hurts and love doesn't break your heart. You don't have to find true love, because it's never very far. It sticks around through good times and bad, but it doesn't make you sad.

Dear, sweet daughter of mine, please give love a chance. Don't dwell in the fantasy of romance. What isn't real and can never last. You can not have what you don't have the time and wisdom it takes to find. Be patient with love. It takes time and maturity to find. A crush will only hurt you in the end, and crushes always end. Don't you see? You were meant to be loved, unconditionally. True love will love you, no matter what. A crush, on the other hand, will have strings attached. There can't be true love with just a crush.

Be happy today for what you will find tomorrow, even though it may seem impossible. The crush is only an example of what love never was, but the crush will help you recognize the true love you'll find. True love will be clear, because of the crush. So, please try to be happy that soon you will see what is set in stone to find, later on.

True love was meant to be seen clearly, and through the experience of the crushed love, you'll find it more easily. Soon, it will be drawn to you, like a magnet. It will come when you least expect it. That's what true love does. I comes just in time, when the time is right, and just because you didn't need to look for love. Faithfully, you always knew it would come, because you finally see the meaning of love.

So dear, dry your tears and tell that guy, "good bye," but don't forget to thank him for the experience. Because of him, you can finally see what true love is and what it was never meant to be.

Love Mom,
A Crush Survivor, like you.

Learn more about this author, Vicki Phipps.
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